Wombat's Art

Jay-R, who everyone fondly calls Wombat, is a batchmate of mine in the Australian account I currently work for. He's goofy, loud, friendly and very talented. Recently, I was able to have a chat with him. I noticed that he was drawing this amazing picture on the left while taking calls. I was just flabbergasted! I mean, when I take calls, I also doodle a lot... tally marks, flowers, my name, cartoon faces... but nothing like this. I told him how amazing his drawing is and that not everyone has this kind of talent and he said, "That's exactly what I told my mother. Unfortunately, she didn't allow me to take Fine Arts in college."

I felt bad about that. I mean, drawing is a skill that for me is more natural than acquired. Yes, you can hone it by taking formal classes but nothing beats being born with it, just like my good friend, Herb who has been creating fantastic sketches since we were in grade school! Just check out her Pencilpox website and be amazed by all her creations. Fortunately for her, she also had the chance to really do what she loves doing best apart from just being gifted. She studied Fine Arts and now, she has all the wonderful opportunities, travelling here and there, sharing her skills and talents while mingling with other creative minds.

Though I believe that in life, we do make our own paths, I can't help but wonder... If early on in our life, we are somehow led to a certain path by the people who had control over us, wouldn't it be inevitable for us to take it as our first option and make it our own path? If his mother let Wombat follow his dreams, where could he be now? I doubt he'd be taking calls beside me! I only hope that it isn't too late for him to make his path as an artist. He's got talent -- and in my humble opinion, it'll be a real shame if he can't share it to the world the way Herb is able to share hers.

The Sound of My Silence

I've been losing my voice a lot lately, it's pathetic. Pathetic because I'm a call center agent for crying out loud! Being voiceless in this industry is like having a broken TV as an ornament around the house -- it's there but it's not doing what it's supposed to do, it's just so stupid. It's bad enough that I have to once again spend heaps of money on new meds but to further ruin my far-from-perfect stats, it's just -- arrrgggh!!!

Last Wednesday, my right nostril lost its virginity to the ENT doctor when he checked on everything that needs to be checked. After three endoscopies by three different doctors -- all of which were just through my mouth, no one has really given me any information that would explain the recurrence of my voice suddenly getting hoarse, which eventually leads to voicelessness. It's always laryngitis or some sort of allergy but nothing about nodules of sorts.

My last consultation was a way different experience because I learned a lot of new things about the anatomy of my tonsils, adenoids, etc. I learned that just because I don't have goo dripping out of my nose, doesn't mean I don't have colds. In addition, I apparently have really large tonsils. The doctor wondered if this was the first time I've been told that I have really large tonsils. I said I'm not sure because doctors would normally tell me I have enlarged tonsils because that's pretty much what the problem is at the time -- sheesh, confusing. As it turned out, it may even have something to do with my snoring, which my partner swears to have increased in decibels lately. Imagine my pathetic tonsils flapping as I unknowingly struggle to breathe during my sleep... well, that's just me visualizing it, nothing the doctor said or anything. So there, I have a new drug to add to my ever-expanding list of daily vitamins. It's an antibiotic this time. In fairness, it wasn't as expensive as I expected.

Oh and yeah, I do have a nodule on my vocal cord. Which then warrants a few more days of ABSOLUTE VOICE REST. And yes, the keyword is absolute, which is really difficult and thus brings me to the point of this post...

I've been realizing a lot of stuff since I've been having these brief periods of absolute voice rest. It's weird, it's like you're meditating in the middle of chaos... like you're withdrawn or something as everybody else gets on with their lives. On the way home from the doctor, I spent an awful lot of time stressing about my tonsils. If things don't get smaller by next week, the doctor might have to consider tonsillectomy, which would obviously require a lot of rest days post-op. I just feel that now is not the best time for such hassles. I do intend to improve my stats and work towards better things. I am tired of taking calls and I do miss being a QA. For some reason, the sound of my silence made my ambitious, driven voice to stand out. For so long, I've been feeling like an under-acheiver, enjoying scenes from the backseat as everyone else drives. But now, I've finally made the decision to actually set goals and intend to achieve them. It's a bit unusual for me to feel this way because opportunities pretty much come my way and all I had to do was grab them. It's very rare that I plan and prepare in case an opportunity comes along. I'm glad that I'm hearing this voice now.

Another thing that I'm glad to hear is the sound of new company. Since I got sick, I've been doing some offline functions together with my other sickly colleagues. It's nice to be with a new set of people, to know more about them and to learn new things from them.

Lastly, it feels great to hear your heart's truest desires... the ones no amount of wealth can afford. In my silence, my heart screamed for the love of my life -- for she's the only one who can comfort me and can take my pains away; In my silence, I was able to hear the childish laughter within me that enjoys the company of my Mommy and Daddy as I am their one and only little girl or when I'm big sister to my cuddly feline siblings; And in my silence, I was able to once again hear the familiar chatter only the best of friends could share, knowing where we last left off, no matter how long it has been.

Now is not the best time for hassles like these... which is a really funny thing to say because I've never had so much fun in my life for a long time until these hassles happened... Maybe, now is the best time...

One thing I hate about Filipinos

There are a lot of things to love and hate about the Philippines and its people. Don't get me wrong... I love my country and I love being a Filipino, but I'm not blind to its many, many, many flaws. I just hope we'd do better, you know? Or at least aspire to be better!

Recently, my partner and I became active in an Asian forum. Actually, it's for The Amazing Race Asia. As you can imagine, the forumers are from different backgrounds, having different languages and all, yet everyone are so passionate to talk about the show and their teams. Now what I hate about Filipinos is their penchant to use their native tongue without any regard to other members of the community. They all talk in Filipino as if it's an exclusively Filipino forum. To make matters worse, they don't listen even if you bring this to their attention (which another member already tried doing). What a real shame.... And take note, members from other countries don't do this! They all post in English... no matter how confusing the grammar is. It's really embarrassing!

So one day, I got totally pissed and fed up so I posted a new thread about this... and this is what happened... Seriously, I didn't expect some Filipinos to be so fucking insensitive and narrow-minded!!!:

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WEIRD PINOY PRIDE
BadGirLjeL

Show your Pinoy Pride by spelling your country's name correctly. it's PHILIPPINES -- NOT PHILLIPINES.

Also, show your pride by being respectful. This is not an exclusively Filipino site/forum so practice proper decorum by speaking in English so everyone understands.

Yes, I'm a prude, I'm a goody-two-shoes and I'm a bitch. So deal with it. And yes, it's all because I'm proud to be a Filipino and wouldn't want others to think we're all rude.

*****

From: slith6

oh common biatch..(according to yu maam)...were playing a game and just establishing some tactics here..were not disrespecting anyone mistreating other countries or whatever negative you might have sensed..I, on the other hand am just pushing natinal pride..its not wrong to be proud of what I am.. If you're ashamed to be a noypi then go humiliate urself

*****

From: ethel09

see who's rude now...ur the one who naming urself as a badgirl a bitch..you think your proud of yourself?maybe...but no one proud of you...see u dont have a face to see everyone...BITCH...AS YOU SAY...

*****

From: BadGirLjeL

Whatever...

So you're just thinking about the race? Not my problem. I've read so many threads where people in other countries are already asking what langauge is being used and to kindly use English, but noooooo!!! Nobody cares! So go ahead with all your tactics... IT IS A RACE. it's natural for people to strategize. But when discussing GENERAL TOPICS like the rules, comments on the route markers, even the show and the teams themselves, etc EVERYBODY has the right to join in... But how can everyone do that if they don't understand the language?

And don't tell me about NATIONAL PRIDE because that's exactly my point. Obviously, you're too narrow-minded to understand.

*****

From: BadGirLjeL

Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Go and take it out on my nick, my avatar, etc.

Obviously, you're not catching my drift. Again, not my problem. Nonetheless, I wish you all the best for the race 'cause that's what we're here for. I was just giving you something to think about... your choice to interpret it a million ways. HAVE A GREAT LIFE! =)

*****

From: ethel09

as you say bitch.....

*****

From: cancerous

badgirljel huh...making corrections?you also have flaws bitch....even english people dont have proper english...common sense plz..maybe the other country asking what language is being used..it doesnt mean wrong spelling or grammar its all because they dont talk or even rigth english...

*****

From: cancerous

your the only one who dont care ,...coz ur a bitch.. maybe u read a wrong thread...ha ha ha....

*****

From: BadGirLjeL

Well, at least I'm well aware that I'M A BITCH... It's futile to keep on repeating the obvious.


Obviously, NONE of the people who've made comments on this thread understands my point. It's not even about using proper English... actually, that's precisely the point. GRAMMAR IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT -- It's using the language that EVERYONE will understand as it is our common ground, knowing we came from different countries, having our own native languages. And it's weird, pointing out I have flaws, considering I didn't claim to be perfect. I truly find it amazing (no pun intended) that it has become a personal attack... I mean, how immature! Hahahaha!

P.S.
Thanks for making my efforts succeed. See how you're all writing in English now (well, at least in this thread)?! At least now everyone will understand! That's all I wanted in the first place.

P.P.S.
Have a nice life!

*****

From: cancerous

ah...we cant understand you maybe ur from outer space....

*****

From: BadGirLjeL

BWhahahahaahahahaaaaaaaa!!!!

|BadGirl`JeL|'s Secrets to Having a Perfect Attendance (Updated)

Let me begin by saying that yes, I'm writing this from the office, but no, I'm not on the clock. I'm currently having my lunch break -- check your system -- I logged out at 9:30AM. So there.

I'm so happy that we're already halfway through the month and I haven't missed a single day of work. It's been months since I've last done that (have I ever?!) This means I've been healthier than usual, which is truly an amazing feat. So let me share my secrets to all of you who are aspiring the same success:

* Nasal spray for seasonal allergic rhinitis (which by the way has a Php987 price tag -- good for a month)
* Oral rinse for sore throat or lozenges in case I'm out and about
* Eye gel for recurrent corneal erosion
* Otic drops for otitis media
* Antacid for hyperacidity
* Hormone treatment for cycle problems and other aches and pains associated with said problem

Etcetera:
* Small meals or light snacks every 2-3 hours (I've italicized the words small and light because they're relative -- hehe!)
* Cat naps every chance I get
* Voice rest after work and during weekends
* Salabat or Ginger brew
* Self-discipline to keep myself from cleaning my ears with cotton buds after every bath
* Self-control to only drink caffeinated drinks twice to thrice a week tops
* Regular visits to my OB-GYN

Repost-worthy: My thoughts on bisexuality

Someone from the #Tibok Message Board started a thread regarding bisexuality and I can't help but reply. Just thought the topic is worth sharing here in my blog as I find it interesting being a straight lesbian (what the f---?!). It's a fresh post and so far, I'm the only one who has replied as of press time so click here if you wish to know the latest on the said thread.

having a relationship with a bi-woman..
Isn’t it pretty stressful.. they have wider range of options and competetion is more tough. And I guess for some reasons (and I beg to disagree that sexual satisfaction is one of them!) they prefer boys over us. Sometimes it makes me feel like m just being used to fill up what men can’t satisfy and then leave me when they’re done… whew! Am I sailing alone here?... anyone?

My thoughts on bisexuality
I myself have always been fascinated with bisexual people -- not just bisexual women, but men as well... as I fondly call them, double-dippers and double-dippees... Hehehe! =p

You're right... sex may be a major factor for them to prefer one over the other. What fascinates me the most though is how they make that decision relationshipwise. I've always believed that bisexuality is loving someone for the soul... more than the labels, more than the equipment -- pretty much how we lesbians have the conservative butch-femme setup versus the femme-to-femme or even butch-to-butch arrangement. But nonetheless, I can't help but wonder how it all goes inside their heads. Of course, some may have to resort to bisexuality to fulfill certain familial obligations -- to keep an image of being normal and deliver a conventional life as an adult. On the flipside, I remember some people saying that bisexuality is a term confused people use for being unable to decide on what they really want. But then again, aren't all these just labels? Maybe in the end, we are indeed just human beings loving another human being -- regardless of the package or the equipment.

And then again, there is that angle of being on the other side of the relationship road. How it's like to be an option... I sometimes wonder how weird it must to be, to feel paranoid not knowing who the competition really is! Hahaha! Will you get jealous over the guy from work, or should you watch out for her closer-than-close girlfriend? Hmmmmm... ;)

I'm baaaaaacccckkkk!!!

After over a year of being in hiatus, I think I'm starting to get my groove back. Probably because I miss my glory days of being on top of things, proving that I can do wonders just when people think I can only deliver a mediocre performance.

For the entire month of October, I've been able to (finally) achieve more-than-acceptable quality marks, I haven't been majorly sick except for some voiceless days, and lastly, I think I'm starting to develop better call control skills that doesn't result to heated arguments and further call escalation.

Even more fulfilling, at least at a personal level, is that I've been able to post some fresh content on my blog -- even updated my Blogger profile -- and trust me, my brain won't stop buzzing with all these new thoughts and ideas so I'm looking forward to writing more entries soon. In addition, I've started posting some stuff in the #Tibok Message Board again, which I haven't done in such a long time -- and even managed our Friendster account and Friendster Groups! Now that's what I call making my presence felt! =)

Curiosity might kill the cat

Yeah, I know, I'm generally weird. I sometimes think about things normal people won't waste their time on. But seriously, ever had one of those days when you have all those burning questions you want to ask people but are too afraid to ask because they're either rude or intrusive or just downright inappropriate or well, stupid?

Not to be nosy or anything, but I do have a penchant for learning new things and new ideas from people who are very different from me. I love listening to other people's accounts of how it is being "unlike me"... I'm fascinated by the fact that somehow, I can see the world through their eyes... Of course, I'm not talking about wanting to be them or even like them (although honestly, a simple "what if" would sometimes cross my mind or a twinge of envy would hit me for a split second). I just want to know... to simply undertand and learn... So, here's my personal list of stuff I truly want to know about other people but would never ever ask... not in this lifetime!

* How does it feel to be beautiful and have everyone around you admire your beauty? Have you always known that you're beautiful?

* How does it feel to be really really intelligent? Is it true that it's boring? Do you sometimes feel like doing something evil, knowing you can get away with it anyway (just like in the movies)?

* How does it feel to be an unwed or a single mother who's always searching for the right one whom your child can call "Dad"? Do you believe in making it alone or do you think it's a requirement to have a man in your life?

* How does it feel to be a slut? Aren't you ever afraid of contracting a sexually-transmitted disease/infection? Aren't you afraid that no one really respects you anymore because they only see you for the slut that you are and nothing more?

* How does it feel having sex with someone at least twice your age? Doesn't it feel like fucking your own mom/dad?

* How does it feel being a transvestite? Don't you sometimes feel afraid that someone out there would hurt you? Would you say that there's more or less discrimination here in the Philippines than say, the US based on what we sometimes see on TV regarding hate crimes? What can you describe as a manifestation of discrimation here in the Philippines?

* How does it feel being rich? Do you oftentimes think you're actually better than most people because you have more money? Do you think you can live without your wealth without going insane? Do you think you deserve to be this lucky in life?

* How does it feel being a porn star? When did you realize you wanted to be one? Is this something you actually aspire to be at an early age?

* How does it feel to be player? Is it something you desire to be, much like a reputation you simply want to uphold or is it something that just happens? Apart from the sex, what do you seriously gain from it?

* How does it feel being a user? Are you even aware that you're one? How do you esteem someone as usable? Why the fuck are you doing this to other people? Do you feel the slightest remorse when you exploit innocent people?

*How does it feel being a liar? What's so bad about your life that you have to cover things up with fancy stories that aren't even half-true? Do you realize how pathetic it is to lie about the simplest things? Do you understand how disgusting you are for saying all those horrible, horrible lies?

* How does it feel being a BITCH? Is this some sort of lifelong mission to have everyone hate you just because? Are you aware that you're a bitch? How the fuck are you able to sleep at night knowing there are a lot -- and I really mean a lot of people who hate your guts? Do you think that because you're a bitch you're actully better than most people? Assuming you'll have some moment of enlightenment in the future, do you think people should give you a second chance?

About me

I've been having a hard time talking about myself lately, that's why I haven't been able to post anything new in my blog. I mean, there are some stuff going on with me but I oftentimes think they're nothing really important or interesting anyway so there's no sense in talking or writing about them.

But today, I do feel like venting so here's a bit of random thoughts from yours truly:

* I don't care if certain people read my fucking blog. After all, that's precisely the reason why I blog. I sometimes feel I have something to say that are worth sharing to the rest of the world... well, at least the world wide web -- so it doesn't bother me if people find out how happy, unhappy, stressed, or messed up I am. Seriously, what's the big deal?! Will it be so bad to find out that I am actually a breathing human being capable of feeling all sorts of emotions?! "Oh my God! She's actually alive! And all along, I thought it was just a robot writing all those blog entries!"

* Some sad facts of life I recently learned -- Jelaineism #45: Expect incompetence from people so they may surprise you. Expecting excellence is tantamount to setting yourself up for disappointment. I experienced it first-hand, my partner had her share of the experience as well... so just keep your fingers crossed and wish hard that it doesn't happen to you.

* I've been thinking... where do I go from here? What exactly do I want to do in life or with my life? What the fuck am I waiting for? I feel like I'm always waiting for something, but what it is exactly, I seriously don't have a clue. I oftentimes find myself being a spectator in other people's lives... like I just watch as things happen to them and it comes as such a huge surprise if something actually happens in my life. And even weirder is that I can't seem to snap out of it in spite of being aware of it! I mean, what's that about?! Normal people would you know, realize something's wrong and actually do something about it or at least try. But in my case, it's like -- "Oh, so that's how I am..." and that's it! Seriously, I think I need some sort of professional help with this issue...

* I've recently discovered that contrary to what most people think of me, I actually have some insecurity issues... I sometimes feel unworthy of the amazing things that come my way, I don't handle rejection very well and believe it or not, there are some situations wherein I'm surprisingly shy! I know, that's really weird... but I don't know, must be the universe's way of providing some sort of balance in my life! Hehehe!

* On a positive note, I recently realized that no matter how bad a change may seem, change is always refreshing in some way. I recently decided to finally disconnect with someone important in my life. I'm not sure if this disconnection is for good this time (well, I hope not) but I'm a bit surprised that I'm actually fine. And that I seem to have grown in welcoming this change. Like, I've become a better friend -- even to myself and I've become more tolerant of other people's choices. Of course, I still don't agree but I've come to accept that this is how it's going to be from now on. It's weird... it's one hell of a roller coaster ride, but it's nice...

WARNING TO ALL USERS OF NOKIA 60 SERIES AND OTHER HIGH-END MODELS

TO ALL USERS OF NOKIA 60 SERIES AND OTHER HIGH-END MODELS LIKE THE N SERIES:

PLEASE BE AWARE OF THE VIRUS CALLED COMMWARRIOR, WHICH YOU MAY UNKNOWINGLY GET INTO YOUR PHONE VIA BLUETOOTH. ONCE IN YOUR PHONE SYSTEM, IT WOULD RANDOMLY SEND OUT SPAM MMS MESSAGES TO YOUR PHONEBOOK ENTRIES EVERY MINUTE, THUS SENDING OUT THE VIRUS TO YOUR FRIENDS.

MY FATHER WAS VICTIMIZED BY THIS VIRUS, CAUSING HIS PHONE BILL TO SKYROCKET TO A WHOPPING Php6,6000 IN LESS THAN A MONTH! BASED ON HIS EXPERIENCE, HERE ARE A FEW MANIFESTATIOS OF THE VIRUS:

* PHONE RANDOMLY CALLS NUMBERS FROM HIS PHONEBOOK WITHOUT PRESSING ANYTHING OR WITHOUT USING ANY SORT OF VOICE COMMAND.
* SPAM MESSAGES ON HIS SENT FOLDER -- NOTE, SENT FOLDER NOT INBOX.
* BLUETOOTH ACTIVITY EVEN WHEN THE BLUETOOTH FUNCTION IS OFF OR HIDDEN. FRIENDS MAY ASK YOU WHY YOU'RE "CONNECTING" TO THEIR PHONE.

FORTUNATELY, SMART COMMUNICATIONS GAVE US INFORMATION ON THIS VIRUS INCLUDING HOW TO GET RID OF IT. THE REST, MY PARTNER JUST LOOKED UP ONLINE. TO SAVE YOUR PHONE, MAKE SURE TO BACK UP ALL DATA ON YOUR PHONE MEMORY AND REFORMAT IT BY PRESSING *#7370#

FOR MORE INFORMATION REGARDING THE COMMWARRIOR VIRUS, INCLUDING TECHNICAL DETAILS AND MORE REMOVAL INFORMATION CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE OR COPY/PASTE THIS LINK:
http://www.symantec.com/security_response/writeup.jsp?docid=2005-030809-4208-99&tabid=1

PLEASE PASS THIS INFORMATION ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM IT. THANKS!

Boring!

Hallelujah!!!! We're on avail!  And here I am, feeling bored!  I can't wait to get out of here and get myself a decent facial! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!

Psychosomatic

I was sent home today – the second time this week – due to my perennial problem, hyperacidity. I was having trouble breathing, moreover speaking, with all the tightness and pain in my stomach. I’m not sure if it was the root beer I had yesterday or the self-inflicted stress I’ve been putting myself through that’s causing it. Whatever it is, this shit has become such a major pain in the ass – causing me not only to spend big bucks on meds (again) but to ruin my stats as well.

It’s a bit ironic. My hyperacidity is ruining my stats when in fact, I have an inkling as to what’s causing it. Yesterday, we had our usual team meeting and the news wasn’t anywhere near pleasant. Our Average Handling Time (AHT) is the highest among all the teams and my poor Team Manager was made to commit to some stupid magical number by the end of the week or we’re risking having a team reshuffling. Nightmare. Total nightmare.

I remember how in Grey’s Anatomy, Dr. Cristina Yang (played by the great Sandra Oh) was bitching about how Burke turned her into a “fat, stupid, pregnant girl who cares.” I find it funny how she said that… it was like she was making fun or looking down on people who feels; likes she’s this stoic person who doesn’t give a fart about anyone or anything. Every so often, I strive to be like that – numb, dense, distant – but not to the point of being heartless or cold. As I’ve learned over the years, being unfeeling makes disappointment a lot easier to swallow and makes emotional pain a lot more bearable. Caring, on the other hand, makes an ever-changing world more difficult to face. Sometimes, it even makes truth an unpleasant reality to deal with, instead of a positive energy that we welcome whole-heartedly. Through the years, I swear, I’ve tried not to care about the people I work with. But when I was in high school, for instance, I made connections that I had such a fucking hard time to let go… and it happened again in college… and then in my first real job with Team Hopi… and then again with my QA peers… Wow, when will I ever learn?!

Every time I join a new family, my game plan is to keep things cool. Mingle but don’t get involved. Build relationships but never let your guard totally down. Always keep a certain distance and never ever care too much. If possible, don’t even care at all! And now, here I am, feeling so fucking upset about the possibility of a team reshuffle if we don’t get our acts together. I spent my morning thinking about how I can help, how I can improve so we can all stay together… I prayed for focus and determination that our team doesn’t lose sight of the task at hand and to realize that giving up is never an option. I can’t forget how one of my teammates almost felt like crying yesterday… for some, they may think it’s a joke or even an over-reaction but I know she meant it. I want my team and I’d sincerely have a very tough time to let go if worse comes to worst. So during the first couple of hours of my shift, I’ve been obsessing about my handling time, getting all short-fused when I feel guests are just wasting my time. Then of course, it happened. The pain, the throwing up, the difficulty in breathing… It was horrible!

And now… here I am at home… confused. I’m still stressing about my AHT and my team,of course but at the same time, I’m stressing about the cost of my meds and how I’ll pay for them next month and if I can go to work tomorrow. Oh and another thing. I also found out yesterday that there’s a job opening in another account, which is unfortunately located on a different site. Since the news about the possible reshuffle, I’ve been seriously considering transferring. After all, I do miss being a QA plus the fact that a promotion would definitely help my finances a great deal. Transportation is an issue, of course… thus, more stress for me. So, there! S-T-R-E-S-S all day long!!!

Seriously, can’t I just stop caring about anything?!

Whatever happened to August

Great. Just great. August is supposed to be my favorite month -- my special, best-ever month and I here I am, posting my only blog entry for the entire month. Whatever happened?! Well, lots of things did happen... lots of fun and memorable things. Indeed, I have lots of entry that are so long overdue and I'm hoping to have time catching up... Wish me luck!

To all my fellow RENTheads

Here's an assortment of Rent-realated videos that I got from YouTube, including the alternative ending, their guest appearances in various TV shows while promoting the movie, and an excerpt from the documentary that's included on the DVD. ENJOY!!! =)

If

If having a job is like having a significant other, I've been such a lousy lover -- a rather unfaithful lover at that.

I always think about other jobs, I haven't been performing well, I've been making a lot of excuses, and I've been fantasizing a whole lot about leaving.

If only I could be as happy with my job as I am with my wife, my life will be way easier...

Trailer: The Night Listener

Here's another movie that I've been waiting to be released. Well, it's because Sandra Oh is in it. Seems like a double treat though because it's a Robin Williams film as well. (Hehehe!)

Trailer: The Devil Wears Prada

I've been trying so hard to read the darn book but just can't! Nonetheless, I love it, love it, love it and was so thrilled to hear that it'll be made into a movie. I was all the more excited when I learned that Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway will play Miranda Priestley and Andrea Sachs, respectively. Imagine my added excitement when I found out that Tracie Thoms (who played Joanne Jefferson in the film version of RENT) will be playing Lily (Andrea's best friend). So there, I've been waiting since and was so happy when I found this trailer in YouTube. Can't wait to see it!!! :) Hope you enjoy this trailer!!!

Missin' Bloggin'

I can't believe it's almost an entire month that I haven't posted anything in my blog.  The weird thing is that I've been dying to write a lot things down but never got the chance to really sit down and organize my thoughts so they may be good enough to be written down.  Now, I'm just trying this post-by-email thing to see how the formatting will go so I can post more.  Sometimes, I wish I can have all the time in the world to sit in a Starbucks with a nice laptop and type my days away.  I've longed to finish my short story for a couple of years now that my ideas are starting to get stale.  Funny how when I used to work from home, I thought then I had all the time in the world but never really took the time to write what I want.  I guess I'm wrong in thinking that I never have the time. Maybe I've always had the time... it was me who never made it mine... 

Same o' Same o'... Well, not so

Work is still kinda fun... but the "upward inflection" thing is taking a toll at my freaking throat!!! I've been coughing like hell since last week and this morning, I nearly lost my voice completely. I'm down to this creepy, hoarse voice. So as usual, I'm under medication again. WHAT'S NEW?

***************

Anywho, I'm a bit bitchy about certain people in my life. Apart from that one person with whom I'm supposedly very close to, we're almost family, who's been lying to my face, a certain someone just seem to have changed overnight and I'm not really sure who she is now. On the flipside, there are those people I thought I could be close to, but then I realize they're just a bunch of happy, shallow people and so I take a step back and just observe them all from a distance. And how can I forget that one person who seems to remember me when everything has gone bad in her life and disappears when things get awfully busy. There goes another universal fact, I guess... friendship sucks sometimes but nonetheless, it's so damn hard to live without those crazy people you call FRIENDS...

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Filipinos are so lousy at following simple rules, like where to cross and where not to cross the street, for instance. My wife realized that we even have to be treated like hamsters or lab rats by putting up high barricades an fences just to keep us from crossing the busy highways, which could be really life-threatening if you think about it. We're so lousy at following such simple instructions that signs aren't enough. Hay talaga nga naman... ONLI IN DA PILIPINS!!!

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I have a new-found addiction... I love Grey's Anatomy! I'm even starting to fall in love with Dr. Cristina Yang, played by Sandra Oh. Actually, I'm still deciding if I'm falling in love with Cristina or Sandra! Lolz She's one hell of a bad-ass rider chick, with super smarts and a hot personality to match! Tell me... how can I not fall in love with a woman like that?! Tell me!!!

Happy and Gay Jelaine

My name is Jelaine. I'm lesbian. I've been in a very committed relationship since the year 2000. I was never discreet about my homosexuality even as a teenager, but I don't wear it around my neck like some sort of a cowbell. I come out to people on a need-to-know basis, oftentimes in a very casual manner. For me, being a lesbian is just a part of who I am, but I'm not all that. It's not a big deal, really – just as natural as having blue eyes and blond hair, both of which I obviously don't have.

I'm not a big fan of role-playing. Though I have tons of butch and soft butch friends, I personally hate how other people would make a big deal out of who's-butch-who's-femme and the "appropriate roles" they're expected to play. My partner and I started to live together only six months into the relationship. Though she admits to being a soft butch, we've always shared the responsibilities 50-50 since Day 1. Personally, that's the mature way of handling things and expecting the butch or the soft butch to be "the man of the house" is just plain bullshit. In fact, the entire idea about lesbians wanting to be men or being "men trapped in a woman's body" is a load of crap. I know it happens, but FYI, that's an entirely different condition (Hint: Transgender, Transsexual, MTF, FTM, Gender dysphoria). Being a lesbian for me is just about being a woman loving another woman. Being femme or butch or soft butch are all orientations – a way of handling ourselves, a preferred way of wearing clothes or having our hair done. But deep inside, we're just as feminine as any other woman… Truly, 100% all-natural women!

Extreme Jelaine (not the sporty kind)

My name is Jelaine. Different people call me by different names; I don't really mind having all those nicknames as long as no one bastardizes my real name. One of my nicknames is |BadGirl`JeL|, which I created as my IRC handle almost half a decade ago. True enough, a lot of people think of me as a bitch. Again, I don't mind. I don't have any political aspiration whatsoever, nor do I plan to join any popularity contest in this lifetime. What I find most important is that I know what I'm all about and that I'm never pretentious of everything that I am. Though I admit to being a bad girl and a smart ass bitch, I don't believe in "living up to the name." One thing about me that a lot of people might find surprising is that I have such an extreme personality. As much as I enjoy being rude and mean, I also know when to shut up, listen and just do what's right. I've always believed that being a bad girl is not about breaking the rules or being intentionally difficult. It's about being yourself, knowing what you want and how to get it – and that is, without having to violate others.

So don't be surprised if one day, you hear me talking trashy, using cuss words as some sort of punctuation in my foul sentences and the next day, you hear me doing some baby talk, speaking fondly about my family and friends. 'Cause you see, that’s just the way I am. And really, I'm not that hard to get. Most of the time, I'm easy to get along with – just try not to piss me off 'cause trust me, that's an entirely different story…

Pinoy Style Jelai

Ako ay mapagmahal
Mapagmahal sa pusa...
Mapagmahal sa pagkain...
Mapagmahal sa TV...
At higit sa lahat...
Mapagmahal sa sarili.


Ako ay mahilig
Mahilig kumanta't sumayaw...
Mahilig sa gadgets pati na rin sa video games...
Mahilig tumambay at tumingin sa kawalan...
At higit sa lahat...
Mahilig sa kung anu-anong iba't ibang bagay.


Ako ay mahirap kausap
Lalo na pag inaantok...
Lalo na pag nanonood ng TV...
Lalo na pag humohonky...
At higit sa lahat...
Kapag hindi interesado sa topic.


Ako ay magaling
Magaling magpalusot...
Magaling makalimot...
Magaling mag-google...
At higit sa lahat...
Magaling magmagaling.


Ako ay bobo
Pagdating sa Math...
Pagdating sa Spelling...
Pagdating sa Vocabulary...
At higit sa lahat...
Pagdating sa maraming bagay.


Ako ay matapat
Sa misis ko...
Sa mga kaibigan ko...
Sa mga brand ng gamit na nakasanayan ko na...
At higit sa lahat...
Sa misis ko.


Ako ay ako
Hindi nagpapanggap...
Hindi nagsisinungaling...
Hindi nanggugulang...
At higit sa lahat...
Hindi nang-iiwan sa ere
(Wag na wag lang talagang susubukan).


Ako si Jelaine
Minsan mabait...
Minsan masama...
Minsan malabo...
Pero sa huli...
Lagi pa ring si Jelaine.

Jelaine the Couch Potato

My name is Jelaine. My parents apparently got my name from the closing credits of some 80's TV show. Having said that, I guess I'm destined to become a couch potato.

I don't think I can ever survive without cable TV, especially such channels as AXN, Star World or Crime Suspense. I can spend my entire weekend just watching reruns – catching up on all the shows I missed all throughout the week. I can even watch the same episodes of the same shows yet feel as if I'm watching them all for the first time.

For me, there's no such thing as watching too much TV. I also don't believe that watching TV per se can fry your brains and make you stupid. Personally, it's what you watch and how you watch them…

Share-worthy Video Clips

I've been a StupidVideos.com fan for the past two to three years. Here are a few interesting clips that I recently discovered or redicovered and being the couch potato that I am, most of them are needless to say, TV adverts. I'll be posting another batch of links for cat videos. =) Enjoy!!!

Get It Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Sucking It In Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Xbox Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Crying Baby Watch it now on StupidVideos!

Life and Work Balance

I've been quite busy these past few weeks with my new job. But I'm glad to say that I've been pretty good at maintaining what I once thought to be an unattainable concept of life and work balance. Work has been very tiring, especially since I'm still adjusting to a longer commute, that's why I make it a point that I'm able to relax and have fun during weekends. I really hope that I can truly maintain this. I really like my new job and would like to succeed in it...

My problem with kids

I never liked kids. The only time I actually enjoy a child's company is when the child is cute, talented, smart, and well-behaved. I hate kids that are ugly, KSP, and stubborn. People often tease me that if I ever have a kid and he/she turns out to be a "reject," I'd throw the fucked up kid away. Oh and by the way, over the years, my definition of what a kid is has evolved... I'm not just talking about those little wee ones. When I say kids, that include everyone else below the age of 20 (sometimes even 22). I hate them all.

I recently had a few encounters with the worst kids I've known. Some are with those little dykes who get themselves into things they don't even understand, making me feel that they give lesbianism a bad name. Then there's this little liar of a bitch, with whom I'm unfortunately related to. She has caused the family a lot of stress over the past few months and it doesn't seem like she's ready to back down anytime soon. She continues to scheme and lie and screw with everyone. Hell, I just want to wring her neck after beating her up real good. Wish I can say more but I think this is enough. Whew!

Going back to the basics

Recent events have been making me feel that I'm going back to the way I was at least a decade ago. I've been eating more fish and chicken and ditching eating meat (especially pork) and junk food. I've started driving practice again with my Dad as my driving instructor. I've been having the same thoughts in my head which seem awfully familiar. I don't know where I'm going with this sort of personal homecoming but I'm happy. After all, I think I love my old self better than the person I've become over the years.

My Problem with Ellen

I love Ellen Lee DeGeneres with all my heart. I watch her every chance I get and I buy whatever I can afford that has her in it. Last Christmas, I was fortunate enough to have a Santa from Down Under who sent me a copy of Ellen's first book, My Point and I Do Have One... and recently, I bought her second book, The Funny Thing Is.... I enjoyed reading the first book but I stopped with the second one because I've also been watching videos of her tours (The Beginning and Here and Now) and my problem is that the same acts are pretty much on the book and the video.

So there, I find myself "laughing at" the same punchlines and I don't know, I just feel kinda weird about it.

Quick thought for the day

When I say "I can't", 90% of the time, what I actually mean is "I won't" or "I don't want to."

Then again, is it just me?

Friday the 13th

Yeah, I know this is long overdue. Well, I've been extremely busy with a lot of things lately that's why I haven't been able to do anything with my blog. Anyway, I just want to share how happy my Friday the 13th was this January! It's like a dream-come-true day. Ok, I'm easy to please so don't expect major major stuff.

Anyway, I had to go to the mall to run some errands and met with my big sister later that afternoon. I felt so lucky that day because it was raining, and God! How i hate going out when it's raining especially if I have to take public transport! Fortunately, my dad agreed to drop me off even it was so out of the way. He kinda bitched a bit abt the traffic but that's ok.

Then my sister and I also decided to drop by Starbucks for a quick coffee break and I was finally able to have their Eggnog pie thingy, which I promised to myself to only buy in December (even if it was already available as early as November) but when December came, it's unavailable everytime I go to Starbucks! So the year ended and everything and I didn't get to try it. So Jan 13th was really a special time 'cause I was able to try it.

Plus, I went to Powerbooks to buy Ellen DeGeneres' "The Funny Thing Is...". I know they have it because I checked their website. And it was so weird how they got all the classifications messed up! From their website, it's under Humor/Comedy (obviously) but when I got there, it was nowhere to be found and their in-store database says it's under Self-help, Sub-class: Gender. So much for stereotyping, huh? lolz So anyway, I suggested that we also check on her other title, My point... and I do have one (which I already have, thanks to my "Secret Santa" from down under =)) and for some weird reason, it's under Humore/Comedy -- just like what their website said. BUT Sub-class: Children's books. In short, I left the mall empty-handed, well, not really empty-handed because I was able to buy "Goodbye Lover" (Ellen DeGeneres movie with Patricia Arquette, Dermot Mulroney, Mary-Louise Parker and Don Johnson) and something for my wife. Anyway, I still have an errand to do, but it was so late (how time flies when you're in Starbucks) that the store's already closed. So we decided to go home but changed our minds and went to another mall, which was near the first mall and where the car was parked 'cause my sister remembered that other mall closes at a later time. True enough, the store was still open but they don't have what I needed to buy. Anyway, we went to National Bookstore and lucky for me, they do have the book! So I went home with a stupid smile on my face, and the next day, my wife made some remark about me getting all lucky because of Friday 13th and it was only then that I realized that it was Friday the 13th.

So there, I guess, I've proven my long-time theory that Friday the 13th is indeed my lucky day -- whether I'm aware of it or not. =)