Monday, July 05, 2004

Sunday = Me day

Since I've started working in 2001, weekends stopped being my official rest days. Working in a call center for almost three years now, I think I've experienced having most if not all possible schedules known to the center. I've had 12-9, 8-5 -- AM/PM, 5AM-2PM, 1:30-10:30AM, etc.

I had numerous months of no social life, no night-outs, just one-hour dinner dates before my shift if I'm lucky. There were times when I missed a whole lot of good movies and more of my favorite primetime TV shows. I guess it takes a lot of courage and sanity to make it in a call center. Courage, because you have to be brave to ride a commuter vehicle, specifically a PUJ or a cab at any given sked. Sanity, for there would be a lot of depressing times when you feel guilty of having to work, having to leave your wife alone at night, or you're just sick and tired of living for your job. I experienced coming home from work, too tired to do anything else but sleep, then wake up just in time to have dinner, take a bath, dress up and fly to work.

Oftentimes, I'm thinking, why am doing this to myself? Why this job? Is this worth everything I've missed and still missing? Am I willing to miss more in the future? I have been asking myself these questions for the longish time and yet I haven't found an answer... one that I can full convince myself with.

Recently, I have been fortunate to have weekend offs. For some time now, I have been able to play badminton with family and friends, watch movies in theaters, do a whole lot of shopping, catch up on my primetime faves, and a whole lot more. Before, I only think of spending time my significant other on dates, cuddling up, catching up... but now, I've realized that apart from my wife, my parents and my friends, there's one person who misses me most and with whom I need to catch up with the most. And that person is ME.

Since I plunged (head-first) into the world of jobs, bills and responsibilities, it was as if I lost touch with myself -- to really know what I need and want. It was as if I just grew up and all I hear from myself now are orders and pep talks of how I should be, what I should do, what's right, what's wrong, that I'm independent now and in a very committed relationship so I shouldn't be screwing up. But hey, I still have guilty pleasures, you know? I like thinking "what if?" like what if I quit my job and be a bum, what if I'm single and can flirt around? Sometimes, I want to be pretty and feel pretty in spite of me being all fat. Sometimes, I just want to be lazy and not move a muscle. Sometimes, I like disconnecting from the world, like turn my mobile phone off and have the answering machine answer all my calls. So now, that's what I've been doing. I make Sundays my day. If I feel tired, I sleep the whole day... and night. If I wanna pamper myself, I declare my own Spa Day at home. If I wanna pig out, I cook myself some nice meals and feast in front of the TV and have a TV marathon. The possibilities are endless! There's always something fun to do on Sundays.

So there, by the time I have to go to work for another stressful work week, I'm ready. Knowing I had fun with me for at least day prepares me for another battle and also gives me something to look forward to for the next 6 days!

1 comment:

hlF said...

i used to work for one of those call centers... spent 7 frigging months at it. in the end, i couldn't take it and left (partly, i flew off to japan on a scholarship too... great excuse too! hahahaha). but i love myself more than i love my job. it's a job. not even a career (at least, for me). i know i can do better. and all my skills and knowledge were going to waste. i didn't spend 4 freakin years in college, and 2 in graduate school to be yelled at and verbally abused by some jerks who don't even know that you coul open two browsers at the same time.

i'm brave. i flew off.

can i challenge you to do the same? (^__^)v