Counting Good Deeds

Finally, after going through a series of unfortunate events at work, I can now say that I've survived the worst and just geting ready for the better. And what better way to recover from a horrible, horrible nightmare than to do good deeds and forget that the nightmare ever happened. Today, I'm just grateful to have a few opportunities this week to do good. Makes me realize that I may be good for something -- it's exactly the confidence boost I need after that über-terrible time a couple of weeks back.

This week, I was able to show courage by volunteering at work -- and apparently delivering great output. I was also able to offer a few words of encouragement to a troubled mind and a bit of hope to someone who's about to give up. It is because of these opportunities that I am able to look back with a smile on my face... It is indeed a refreshing change. I've finally shaken off that feeling of self-loathing and shame that I've been feeling for that past couple of weeks. :)

What the f???

Whatever happened to my blog?! I can't believe I haven't been able to post anything for the past month and a half! I've been very busy at work and haven't been able to even answer my personal emails.

Just a quick update, I'm still struggling to be confident and über-comfy with my new tasks at work. My honey and I are now working with the same account!!! It's kinda weird how we're now talking about work even at home, as if we're always having some sort of coaching session! Hahahaha! I haven't been able to see my best friends because everyone's just so busy.

It amazes me how time flies sooooo fast! I'm hoping to be able to do more fun stuff in the near future... Oooopps, gotta go! 'Til next time!

Tagaytay

Over the weekend, my QA family including my wife went to Tagaytay. We had a blast just chillin', singing, drinking and of course, watching TV! All the meals were great! From lunch at Leslie's to dinner in Cafe Lupe, plus another lunch in Dencio's before heading back to Manila -- everything was just perfect! Oh well, just want to share some of the photos. More to come as soon as I get copies from their digital cameras. :)

Weekend Rant and Rave

I've been busy as hell for the past couple of weeks... and as much as I would like to slow down even for a bit, I've decided that I'll continue to strive until auditing, calibrating, coaching, training and scheduling have all become second nature to me.

I've recently taken some sort of leap of fate. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning all tired and still groggy, I ask myself -- "Why the hell did I choose this?!" Yesterday, when I realized a major mistake that I have made, which was brought about by the fact that I was never good with math, I nearly fainted in front of my peers and again, I asked myself, "What the fuck am I doing here?!" When I forget things or do something awfully silly, I can't help but wonder, "What made me think that I can do this?"

Again, contrary to popular belief, I am not as confident as I seem. A lot of times, I don't even know what I'm capable of doing and I'm often doubtful of what strengths and talents I possess but I'm also certain about the things I cannot do or the challenges I can never handle. It is because of those people who believe in me that I survive... My Mom, my Dad, my wife, my friends and most recently, my peers at work. I hope someday they'll know hot grateful I am for all the support that they've been giving me, for all the help and the guidance that they never fail to offer. Not once have I planned to give them something, a token of sorts to show my appreciation but of course, I would never want to appear like I'm kissing ass or something -- as you know, that's never my style. Well, I guess I'll just wait until the holidays or something -- but that is, IF I ever survive until the holidays! Hahahaha!

On my promotion

Originally posted on my Friendster blog on march 17, 2007

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New faces,
different names,
yet a very familiar feeling.
New relationships to build,
different personalities,
they're my family nonetheless.
New tasks and challenges,
on an entirely different scenario.
This is homecoming for me.

Bad news for me, good news for my Friendster blog

Originally posted on my Friendster blog on March 17, 200

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My blogspot blog (that doesn't sound right) is currently out of commission as it was suspected of spamming or something like that. It really sucks because now is the only time I have to finally write something. Luckily, I still have my Friendster blog so here I am! :)

My life has been a bit weird the past couple of weeks. I recently got promoted, which was a great thing because I seriously miss being a Quality Assurance Analyst, but it is scary because I'm starting over again and being a firm believer that every account and every team is different, I know I have to adapt my style to this new gig but as I've learned, old habits do die hard! I'm not fast a learner as I think I am so oftentimes, I get really frustrated with myself for not getting things right and for being über-forgetful! It really sucks and it's fucking embarrassing!!! Plus, the fact that my beloved wife is currently on the night shift isn't helping. Imagine, she has a job that she swears off, while I am back to being a newbie... Needless to say, life is not exactly peachy for us. I don't mean to be corny or anything (ok, this is a bit corny) but I'm really glad that we have each other! Times like these, it's nice to know that you have someone to bitch with and well, bitch at! Hahahaha!

And... as if that wasn't enough, something strange happened to me recently. Someone dear to me, who has gone MIA from our lives for like 6mos now tried to make contact. Of course, I didn't reply because, why should I? Obviously, she's still clueless as to why we're even here in the first place. I don't need people like that in my life. I mean, I do care for her, I miss her and I love her (she's virtually my sister for cyring out loud!) but hello?! Stupid as I was, I do get tired too, you know. Emotionally, I think I've given enough for the past 10 years that we've known each other and it's hard to admit that someone you truly care about isn't willing to take any responsibility in her life. Most of all, I've always hated liars. Being someone who doesn't make a good liar, it feels so fucking wrong to have someone important in my life to lie to my face and pretend nothing happened. It just hurts like hell! I mean, what the fuck do you want from me?! You leave, you screw up, you come back. You leave, you screw up, you come back. The cycle goes on and on and on and on... It never ends! I've been very under-fucking-standing in the past, accepting that maybe that's just the way you really are, but to lie to my face -- I ain't gonna take more from you, honey. It's emotional abuse. Oh, and what I hate the most is the pseudo-asking-for-forgiveness-i-don't-deserve-y'all drama. I mean, if you've figured that something is über-wrong about you, do something about it! And I don't mean simply saying "I'm sorry, this is just the way I am." Try changing for once! Spare everyone from all your fucking crap! I mean, seriously, you gotta me ice queen to remain unaffected by this person. It's so fucking draining just being around her. She's a handful. Trust me, she truly is.

But hey, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I would never ever let her back into our lives, mine specifically... but I guess, not now. I'm just not ready. Strange as it may sound, but I need a sign. I need to be sure that this time, she's not coming back to us just because it has always been that way (meaning, she remembers us when things are going über-shitty in her life or when things finally turned sour with her current object-of-obsession). I need to know that she understands what's going on -- truly understands. I need to see that she has at least taken the first step to taking responsibility and owning up to all the things you do, no matter how fucked-up they are. Bottomline, I need to see that she grew up. She may be über-smart with impeccable English and whatever title at the end of her name, but hey, she's the most immature person I know and she doesn't make a lot of smart choices. Last time we were with her, oh my gawd! She had a lot of growing up to do and I'm hoping that since then, she has realized that it's high time for her to grow up. So there... that's all the bitching I have to do. Hahahaha! =)

Whatever happened to January (Part 2)

Nope, you didn't miss a post. You would never see the first part of this entry as it was written a couple of weeks back and my fucking browser crashed before I was able to save or publish it. And no, I don't think I can ever re-write that entry. Too bad... it had a lot of good stuff.

So what happened to my January? Now even I can't remember! Darn it! I remember the earthquake in Taiwan, causing us to have really slow internet connection, lots of early-mornings in the office because of my girlfriend's überearly schedules, several email trails among my best friends and lots of bullshit at work.

My February, I should say was a bit better -- more colorful and action-packed. Still had a lot of early-mornings in the office because of my girlfriend's shitty schedule, over a week of no internet connection because of evil people stealing cables, and several email trails not only with my best friends but with new virtual semi-friend. Oh and of course, let's not forget all the bullshit at work. I remember a couple of family dinners when my girlfriend's aunt visited from the U.S. And yeah, I've recently applied for a certain position at work and my tummy's getting all fuzzy with the suspense as I still don't know if I got it or not! If I do get it, my girlfriend and I will be watching not one, not two, but three movies in one major date day and will be eating a bucket of chicken from KFC. Yum yum! But if I don't get the job, I'm so getting my hair done... I'm thinking of having some color -- maybe red or blue... Not really sure about the color yet, but definitely something I've never done before.

So there, that's it for now. I feel bad that I haven't written anything for my blog for almost two months! I hope my blog doesn't feel abandoned or anything... Oh well, I hope I can write more entries in the next few days! Keeping my fingers crossed! =)