In Denial... No More

She's one of my earliest best friends. We've known each other since 6th grade. We weren't always there for eah other when we were kids but a lot has changed as we grew older. Our friendship is one that is tested by major fights, time and distance. We've endured all those trials... or maybe it was just me who kept the faith, I don't know.

Each time she has a problem... she messed up, she's screwed up, she'd call me for help. I was there to just listen and to snap her out of her insanity. I always try my best to be available when these times come for I know I'm the only one she trusts this much.

But when things are well, she wouldn't call... wouldn't text... not even a hi or hello. She forgot my birthday... for the past two years... and now, seem to have forgotten me this Christmas.

I used to deny that this is what she does. I refused to believe that she only remembers me when she needs me, but I guess it's all true. That's what she does... just like now. It pains me so much to accept this truth. A part of me, I know, still resists to accept it to be true. I don't know... But I guess with the New Year coming in, I owe it to myself to keep things real and not lie to myself anymore. I don't want to cover up for her anymore. Maybe she's busy... maybe she's out of town... maybe she doesn't have phone credits... I really don't know...

She's still my best friend... I would still be here when she needs me... But this time, I want myself to accept the fact that she hurts me... Sometimes I wonder, does she know how much I care? Someday, I hope she realizes that I need her too... Maybe even more than she ever needed me... That I want her to check on me sometimes... that a simple "hi" would make a difference... Oh well, she's still my best friend... Nothing can change that, I guess. Only now, I am in denial... no more...

Grrrrrinch Attack

One thing that can ruin my perfect Christmas is a kid. No, not just any kid... but a whiny, not-cute-at-all, and irritatingly annoying kid. One kid that fits this description just came by. I swear, I felt my blood pressure rise and my heart started beating real fast. She's such a people-pleaser, it makes me sick and want to choke her to death. I would've gotten through the ten-minute experience by not looking at her, but guess what, she started crying downstairs and wailed most annoyingly! I so hate that kid and I don't want to have anything to do with her!!! Oh well, good thing, she's out of the house... now, I can have my perfect Christmas back... =)

Happy Holidays, Etc.

I finally got some time off from work. It's times like these when I start getting all emotional and begin reflecting about my life.

I'm tired of working. Oftentimes, I have to ask myself why I have to work -- or at least why I have to stay at my job. Not once have I felt regret about wanting to grow up fast and become independent. But looking at my life now and how good it is makes me happy and overflowing with contentment. Iy may not be perfect but it's just right for me. I have a nice job where I've found great friends, my wife's with me and we're so in love as always... what can go wrong?

Times like these, it makes me wonder why there are people out there who would kill themseves. I know there are a lot of people who are not as lucky as I am, but hey, there are a lot of things in life -- simple things, which for me makes life worth living. There's always a good friend, a good laugh, a good burp or a good fart, a good movie, a good song -- all these things make life worth living. But then again, that's just me and obviously, there are some who do not see things that way.

So what do I plan to do this coming year? I don't know! Save money, I gues... I've been spending a whole lot this past year -- but don't get me wrong -- I've been spending my hard-earned money over useful things. I've read once in Cosmo that a person should have 6 months worth of his/her salary in the bank so that no matter what happens (suddenly loses a job, etc.), you wouldn't be in deep financial shit. 6 MONTHS??? Never gonna happen to me! No, not in this lifetime!

Oh well, I've been learning to keep a positive attitude about most things in my life. Like my plans of studying or writing or owning a business, they will happen someday. I don't know when that someday is, but what the heck?! One's never too old to study or write or become a business owner, right? I'd rather take baby steps to reach my goals than come running, rushing to it then get tired and not get there at all...

So there, these are my reflections as of today. Nothing more for me to say.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL and MAY WE ALL HAVE A PRODUCTIVE AND FULFILLING YEAR AHEAD!!!

|BadGirl`Fiction| : You Don't Know Me

Bitch! The word doesn't even begin to describe you. It's too tame to describe all the evil you possess. You are deceptive -- a master of lies, a goddess of pretensions. You led everyone on... everyone, including the person you said you loved.

How dare you! How dare you pretend to be someone you are not. Befriending everyone in her life, using them all to satisfy your thirst to deceive and play with people's lives!

But you don't know me. I will hunt you down and I will make you pay. The anger that they all felt once before but has now forgotten has fed me throughout the years. God knows how much I hate you. You can never deny the truth. The truth of who you once were and everything you have done then -- no matter how much you claim that you have already changed.

You don't know me. Someday, you'll feel sorry that you ever hurt her. You will suffer, I tell you... you will suffer from my wrath and there is no turning back... No, not even forgiveness will save you.

You are so vile, you make me sick... so sick that it has become pure, unadulterated hate... I feel nothing else for you but hate... the hate that will lead me to you and make you suffer...

I swear... I will make you suffer.

Gusto mo bang malaman ang pakiramdam ng isang hand towel na nakasabit sa pinto ng ref?

Alam mo ba ang pakiramdam ng isang hand towel na nakasabit sa pinto ng ref? Gusto mo bang malaman? Madali lang.

Umupo ka sa unang upuan pagsampa mo ng jeep habang maulan. Para ma-maximize ang experience na ito, siguraduhing ikaw ang unang pasahero ng jeep at maghintay na mapuno ito. Magtiwala ka – mapa-kamay, bag, at syempre payong – siguradong matutuyo kahit kaunti matapos maipunas sa iyong pantalon. At mula dyan ay malalaman mo ang pakiramdam ng isang hand towel na nakasabit sa pinto ng ref…

Crossroads

I feel so torn. I feel happy with my life right now, yet I know that I want more. There are a lot of things I want to do and wish to accomplish, if only I have the time and given the chance. Is there hope left for a dreamer like me? People say that I'm still young and need not rush but I guess my greatest fear is not to run out of time but to find myself giving up and out of passion. Oh God... please don't let me give up just yet and please keep my fires of ambition burning...

my life right now sucks!!!

im so pissed right now. i have a lot of stuff going on these days that i barely have time to do the things i really want to do.

sometimes, i just want to disappear from the ofc and be able to stay home and do anything i want.

time like these, i so hate being a grown-up!