Wish

iv always wished that i could study my MA and then teach college... but work got so hectic and life has just gone expensive that studying further stopped being an option or even part of a future plan.

iv longed wished to be able to write and get published and be called a writer by profession. but again, work got way too toxic that i barely have enough time to really sit down and think and write. thanks to msg board in community sites that i never run out of a venue to vent. but hell... that ain't writing for me especially if the things i get to write abt are about real people wih real problem. i know i have a lot of stories to tell and other stuff to share... they're all in here... waiting to be expressed.

iv also known that my other place is in the kitchen. iv always loved cooking... experimenting with the weirdest ingredients. iv never gotten used to cooking classic receipes that women have handed down from generation to generation... from great-grandmother to their daughters and their daughter's daughter. my receipes often leave people asking, what is this??? because they sometimes look unfamiliar or when you ask what the ingredients are, you might ask, "can you possibly put those things together???"

cooking has always become my outlet. another way for me to vent deending on my emotion. i like cooking when im happy as i get to share my joys to others, the same way that i share a good meal. i like cooking when im sad as it makes me forget my pain and make me remember the good things in life. i cook when im tired and stressed because cooking for me is much like therapy... it makes me realize tht sometimes, hardwork does pay-off in the end. just like how cooking can be so tedious yet so rewarding when you find yourself later on, all filled up and smiling... and you see others just as full and just as smiling.

now, iv come to a point where i want to share these feelings to others. i want to cook and feed people and make them smile once they're full. my girlfriend and i have long been planning to have our own business but we aren't much of rich kids with a lot of extra money some place. we're just a couple of young urban professionals, struggling through real life each and everyday, trying to get away unscathed from an endless list of bills and expenses of our rather commercial and materialistic world. now, we've come up with yet another fantastic idea and i can just feel this ball of fire burning in my stomach... as if it's telling me, "this can work and this right... this is what you've been wanting... go for it!" yet it also tells me, "how will you pull this off? no money, no background, no nothing! this ain't gonna work!"

but i want to make this work... i want it to really happen... i want to see this pull through... we will make this work...

geez... hope this ain't another one of my wishes that'll just go down the drain or up in smokes... hope this one does come true...