SACRIFICES AND COMPROMISES

Thank God for bloggers! Here's another article I found in my hard disk... finally, I found a place for them to be well, "published"

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How much are you willing to sacrifice in a relationship? Does being married mean totally losing yourself, blurring that already blurred line that defines who you are and what you want to be? What if your significant other doesn't seem willing to compromise? Will you give in or would you give up? Isn't it that sacrifices as well as compromises should be done by both parties and not only by the one who is deemed "the understanding one"? I know there's nothing wrong about being ambitious... For wanting more than what is considerably enough... But is it too much to ask to take baby steps instead... Small, slow but steady baby steps to get to whatever that ultimate goal is? And wouldn't it be better if those baby steps are taken together instead of alone?

All these questions have been crowding my head the whole week now – playing in a loop almost 24/7. You see, I have been in the colorful-slash-chaotic world of relationships for the last six years of my 23-year existence. I wouldn’t say I know a lot about it since I have only been in a total of two relationships. I don’t know… Maybe it’s because I’m a late bloomer, getting into my first relationship at age 17 or I’m just plain undesirable. But I sure am glad (and proud) that I have hit the jackpot on only my second shot. Yes, lucky for me, I found My Forever three years ago and I could say that my search is over. However, the irony of living a real-life fairy tale is that it truly bites. For a relationship to really have a decent “Happy Ending”, there are a lot of witches and curses the couple has to overcome and win over. And the sad thing about it is that sometimes, it is in the couple’s effort to build a beautiful future together that all these villains come to life. Worst of all, these monsters are not even the people around us. They are actually within us – borne out of our fears and insecurities.

As I approach my mid-twenties and my significant other being on it, we have been seriously thinking about doubling our efforts to save up and be able to do the things we’ve always wanted. We’re both from an average Filipino family in terms of social status. We don’t have parents who can back us up in starting our own business or can give us a car and a house under our names as graduation gifts. In short, if we want to make it big, we have to work hard for it. So from there, wacky ideas started to come up – from working on a cruise ship to migrating to Canada, all of which of course, have their own sets of pros and cons. Say for instance, working on a cruise ship means being away from each other for at least a year, while migrating to Canada entails a lot of resources, processes and preparation. And this is where the complication begins. I personally can only go a week tops without my significant other. I don’t care how much money I’ll be missing, but I just want us together in our cozy, little apartment, enjoying the usual things we do as a couple. Call me impractical, but that’s me. But then, isn’t that being selfish of me since it means keeping the other person from doing what she feels she has to do for herself? I don’t know… that’s pretty much the reason why I’ve been having all those questions in my head!

As I go on thinking about all these, I realized that in such situations, there are no right or wrong answers, nor right or wrong decisions. As long as both parties are willing to make their own share of sacrifices and compromises, everything would be just fine and there would be no regrets. The key is to decide as a couple – make it “you and me against the world” instead of “you and me against each other.” I’ve always believed that any kind of relationship is built on respect – respect for oneself, for the other person and for the relationship. If you have that, there’s no room for selfishness. In moments of weakness, guilt will definitely get you. Maybe we just need to make sacrifices in order to compromise, as much as we have to compromise to make the sacrifice all worth it.

Until now, our plans are still a bit blurry but it’s ok. I guess its all part of growing old as a couple. And besides, I know for a fact that as long as I have My Forever with me, nothing – not even a witch or a curse nor a monster – can ruin our very own version of a “Happy Ending”…