I'm alive... well, kinda

Hi! I'm semi-back. It's been a while since I've posted anything on my blog. I feel guilty abt it considering I'm still able to write emails and stuff to people. Anyway, I'm still waiting for March 31st to come... so I'm officially out of the cube. I've also started with my new job on a part-time basis as a web writer for a graphic design resource site. It's cool, but it's tough because I rely on research -- as in - so I can write. Otherwise, I'm totally clueless abt my topics. But it's nice because I get to learn something new everyday. I'm required to submit 3 articles everyday, Mon-Fri. My deadline is at 11PM -- pretty tough because my regular ofc shift is 8AM-5PM. Whew! Go figure!

But just the same, I'm happy because I at least have a social life -- thanks to my Ate May who always have time for me! I miss my other friends though... a lot of them are busy as well. I'm so looking forward to Sunday's party (house blessing)... hopefully, I'll be able to see more of my friends from ancient past!

Gtg! Have tons more to monitor!!!

Whatever

Could it be that I'm too easy to hurt, leave and be replaced?
Could it be that I'll never earn the respect of the one person I expect to respect me the most?
Could it be that I'm not allowed to show my emotions and if I ever do, it means more pain for me?
Whatever
Just getting all these shit out of the way.

Two Months to Freedom

I'll be formally submitting by letter of resignation on Monday, which is effective March 31st 2005.

Finally, after over three year of living the "Call Center Lifestye," I've decided to take the plunge and just resign with or without a job waiting. Yeah, I know it's risky... but I think that's what I need to do... learn to take risks.

On my previous post, I've mentioned the wonderful job interview I went to for the most amazing job. What I forgot to write about is that, I doubt that they'll choose me after saying that I'll be available in a month because of the 30days I'm required to serve as a regular employee, considering that they need a writer ASAP. Not that it's the only factor why they won't get me, but of course, I mean, logically speaking, why would they even bother looking into the other stuff if I can't even qualify for their primary requirement??? From there, my girlfriend and I finally decided that I need to resign with or without a job waiting just to get that 30-day thing out of the way. Otherwise, I might miss more good opportunities just like what happened, because I'll always be available after 30 days!

To make things worse, I got sick -- very sick -- that week with gastritis, so I missed work for 4 days and was only able to talk to my boss last Friday. I understand that my group really needs me, so I agreed to stay until March 31st.

Oh well, the entire experience has been bittersweet... I lost an opportunity, but it drove to take a risk. I'll be starting out on hopefully, something better and something that I really like, but of course, I'll miss my QA family so much. I love them so much and breaks my heart that I won't be seeing them everyday anymore. But as I always say, you can't have everything and one must learn to make sacrifices.

At this point, I'm still actively looking for a job... preferably in writing. I also finished my resignation letter, just a while back and I feel both excited and well, weird about submitting it on Monday, like, this is it! I'm really doing it.

As i've said, the whole thing has been bittersweet for me... rest assured, that I'm happy that I finally did something to get to what I really wanted. I just hope that things work out for me. =)

Someone, Please Wake Me Up!

I'm in an "Oh my gawd!" state right now. I just got back from a job interview that left me in total disbelief. Imagine a 9am-6pm job, nice office with people I feel are just as nice. Good pay, fun, creative... Position: WRITER! It's a dream come true for me! I sure hope I get the job... This may be the break I've been waiting for.

Post-hibernation post

Yeah, I know... I've been a bad girl. I haven't posted here since weeks ago. Well, apart from being busy at work, I've been very busy doing a lot of other things. Everytime I go online, I've been searching for a new job, updating online resumes, "stalking" bitches and losers, hunting down some dumb bitch who made a mistake when she messed with me and well, checking my email addresses, hoping that a prospective employer has responded to my application.

I haven't done anything creative for the past couple of weeks. I've been nothing but bitter about my current job situation. I feel so sad, stressed and depressed. I've finally accepted the fact that I love my job so much especially the people I work with, but it's not enough. I'm tired of having to work nights, missing my shows, the inability to go on vacation leave when family and friends are making plans of a fun vacation, not having a social life... I feel that I have been missing out on a lot of things and hey, three and a half years is enough, I guess! It's time for me to try new things and find other things that I'm good at. I want to be happier. I know I could be happier.

Oh well, I think I just need to be extra patient right now. I swear to really work hard on job-hunting this time, yet at the same time, not mess up at work. I don't want to leave them something nasty to remember me by!

“What's with Blogging?” by novFem and The Response of a Certified, Proud Blogger

Happy new year to everyone! Guess what... I'm celebrating the new year alone. My beloved wifey went to her family's house, while I only had an early new year's dinner with my folks, after which they went to your own houses. Since 9PM, I've been home alone and seriously, I'm having the time of my life. =)

I planned to have spa night this evening (or should I say last night since it's 5AM???) but since I can't find the attachments of my facial massager, it totally ruined my mood and made me totally crazy. So crazy I ended making a major mess in our room after I threw a major tantrum, throwing things around in the process. After that, I decided to watch "Die Another Day" in Star Movies -- back-to-back. Imagine... I was watching the same movie since 9PM-1AM -- What a loser! While watching TV, I ate pomelo and drank wine... while all my stuff are on the floor. Hahaha! This is what I like about being left alone.

By 3AM... I decided to turn on the computer to write a short story -- well actually, start one. I'm pretty good at that... starting short stories, I mean. I have a lot of nice beginnings but I rarely get an ending... how sad... I kinda hate myself for that. So anyway, of course, I can't be on the computer without being online... so I did my routine when I'm online... check emails, check blog, check a couple of message boards and of course, check my friendster accounts. Bulletin Board posts don't usually interest me. But when I saw one entitled, "What's with blogging?", of course that caught my attention... so I read it... the post compelled me to do some serious online bitching as a response... and here I am... I just want to share both posts here in my cyberabode.

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WHAT'S WITH BLOGGING? by novFem

para saan ba ang bulletin board?.. do we just intend to post bulletin para malaman ng ibang tao ang nangyayare satin?...so that people wud be concern about things happening to us..??? hmm di nyo ba narealize na parang nagiging wlang saysay na ang life natin? imbis na ikuwento natin sa iba personally parang puro blog na lang??? narealize mo na pag time na kasama mo na mga friends mo halos wla ka na makuwento dahil sa tingin mo and ure assuming that they've read your posted bulletin sa friendster or kahit san mang blog account
mo?... hay nako... parang nawawalan na ng saysay ang life no?...hmm not only that, even the poorest things na nangyayre sa life mo kinukunweto mo pa sa blog mo.. pati ung mga
dapat e tinatago mo nalang o ung mga sekreto, lahat ata un ilalgay mo sa blog mo... hay
nako...pathetic no?..sympre ung mga nag coconcerconcern-an na mga friends mega reply..
as in bigay ng advices sayo.. hmm as if naman ganun sila ka concern, ano? sa tingin mo? as in sasabi ng OKAY lang yan.. KAYA MO YAN.. blah blah blah.....

pero ganyan talga ang life...(without BAYGON) lols... :P

wala lang isa lang naman yan sa mga resulta ng teknolohiya... as in.. pero diba mas maganda kung hindi puro blog... :) ehehe..

un lang na realize ko lang den e.. lols.. :) share share ko lang sa inyo...

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THE ULTIME RESPONSE C/O YOURS TRULY

Kapatid... Bitter ka ba about blogging???

I think it's being narrow-minded to look at blogging strictly as an online journal or diary. As a proud blogger myself as well as a writer, it has become such an effective venue for me to express my thoughts -- no pressure to write because there are no restrictions as far as topic or length nor audience are concerned. Just an FYI, there is such a thing as NaNoBlogMo, which is a collaboration with NaNoWriMo.org -- short for National Novel Writing Month -- where writers all over the world aim to write an entire novel of at least 50k words in one month. Can you imagine that??? Well, apparently there are some people who are able to do that. In fact, there are some who already had their novels published. Anyway, with NaNoBlogMo -- it works the exact same way, only it’s published via their blogs so that other writers can read them during the course of the writing period.

One other thing, what's your issue about "writing the poorest thing about your life" and having your friends react to them??? Who's to say that a particular instance in your life is pathetic? It's your blog! Even if your readers may find it irrelevant, that's their problem. And besides, if you yourself find it pathetic, then why post it in the first place? And how grateful of you to doubt people's concern! Consider this... Do you think these people who read their friends' blog are such losers that don't have anything better to do? Do you think they're getting paid for reading their friends' "pathetic" life story? If they went through the trouble of even VISITING, let alone READING an entry, I don't see the point of questioning their concern -- moreover, giving an advice or a short note of support... Now, what do you think of THAT?

And how about the fact that blogs are published in World Wide Web -- the operative words being WORLD WIDE? It's not like your blog is strictly being read by your friends -- well, unless you set it up that way... Anyways, you never know... Maybe somewhere out there -- halfway across the globe from where you are -- someone is going through the exact same "pathetic" thing and finds wisdom and inspiration in what you write. Sweetie, remember that this technology of the internet transcends geography and cultural differences. One can learn a lot about another's culture just by reading a person's blog.

Lastly, I personally have friends in other countries who also maintain their blogs. I love reading them because somehow, it keeps that certain sense of familiarity, keeping me updated on what's going on with them. Trust me, sometimes, emailing just won't do especially if you're as old and busy as I am!

Oh and by the way, writing about your "secrets" in your blog is called therapy. The anonymity the World Wide Web provides is incredibly comforting... Like, you feel or at least hope that someone out there is listening, but you don't really have to "face the music" in real time.

Dearest, you're young... And I understand how easy it is for young people to judge -- but it's always best to make sound judgments. It's nice that you're sharing these thoughts but in the end... I don't know... I suggest that you re-think them.

And seriously, you know what's pathetic? Having to post your bulletin 8 times. That's called flooding... And I personally don't appreciate it. =)

Now that everything has been said, have a great new year! I know I probably came too strong… but you know me – nothing personal! Take care of yourself always, little sister!!!

Proud blogger,
jeLaine
http://badgirljel.blogspot.com

In Denial... No More

She's one of my earliest best friends. We've known each other since 6th grade. We weren't always there for eah other when we were kids but a lot has changed as we grew older. Our friendship is one that is tested by major fights, time and distance. We've endured all those trials... or maybe it was just me who kept the faith, I don't know.

Each time she has a problem... she messed up, she's screwed up, she'd call me for help. I was there to just listen and to snap her out of her insanity. I always try my best to be available when these times come for I know I'm the only one she trusts this much.

But when things are well, she wouldn't call... wouldn't text... not even a hi or hello. She forgot my birthday... for the past two years... and now, seem to have forgotten me this Christmas.

I used to deny that this is what she does. I refused to believe that she only remembers me when she needs me, but I guess it's all true. That's what she does... just like now. It pains me so much to accept this truth. A part of me, I know, still resists to accept it to be true. I don't know... But I guess with the New Year coming in, I owe it to myself to keep things real and not lie to myself anymore. I don't want to cover up for her anymore. Maybe she's busy... maybe she's out of town... maybe she doesn't have phone credits... I really don't know...

She's still my best friend... I would still be here when she needs me... But this time, I want myself to accept the fact that she hurts me... Sometimes I wonder, does she know how much I care? Someday, I hope she realizes that I need her too... Maybe even more than she ever needed me... That I want her to check on me sometimes... that a simple "hi" would make a difference... Oh well, she's still my best friend... Nothing can change that, I guess. Only now, I am in denial... no more...