One day, he just stopped eating and it went on for a couple more days. He started to grow thin and weak. He won't stop crying. My Mom thought he was just asking for food after skipping a main meal. She tried offering different things -- tuna with rice, plain tuna, Friskies dry cat food, Friskies wet cat food -- all to no avail. My Mom said it's because of his gum problems. She's not as worried though be because he's still drinking a lot of water and even drinking a lot of milk.
Last week, I finally told my Mom to bring him to the vet because he won't stop crying even though his voice has become somewhat hoarse. The vet, who was amazed to know that Kuya Taba has been with us for over 10 years now (that's roughly 56 human years), said he's dehydrated. She put him on dextrose through which she also gave him antibiotics for his gums. He started to eat a little, as long as you don't give him the same kind of food for two consecutive meals. He was then confined in the vet for the next five days or so. I was looking forward to seeing him well as usual, just like when Shammy got confined for three days and gotten fat since the time she was discharged. Last Friday, I visited him and I was so surprised to see that he hasn't improved much. He still looked sick and weak.
Today, Mom brought him home. She said he hasn't eaten again and he still looks very weak, he cannot even stand. What bothers me most is the look in his eyes. They've grown deep, almost empty. Like he has gone blind. I know those eyes... I saw them before. It was exactly how DJ's eyes looked like before she passed away January this year. Even my Dad said it doesn't look like Kuya will last that long, he's very, very old. I'm deeply bothered... I'm not ready to let go of my baby boy if I have to. Millie told me to stop crying -- after all, he's still here. She also said he may be sensing that I'm sad and that wouldn't help. I know I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I'm trying my best to be realistic, to be ready, to let go if I need to. I don't think I can. He's my best boy, as much as DJ was my best girl. I can't believe I may be losing both of them this year. Yeah, I know... they're all getting old (DJ was 9 when she passed, which is around 52 in human years), but I can't help but wonder how come Ate Jules, who's the oldest of them all at over 11 years (approximately 60 human years) is still very strong and healthy. As much as I am grateful, for me it doesn't make sense.
When DJ suddenly fell ill and died three days later, my Mom and I blamed ourselves for not bringing her to the vet sooner. We feel awful because it happened during the holidays. The vet went away and DJ died the day before we meant to bring her in. To this day, I still believe that it could've made a difference. Looking at Kuya now, I feel cheated. I feel that I'm doing what I can, and yet he's here, old, tired and weak... dying. Like it wouldn't make a difference. It's weird, I thought it would feel better, but it feels just as bad.
I know not many people can understand how I feel right now. Some may even be thinking, "What's with her, getting so upset over a cat???" Well, they happen to be family. Over the years, they've become a major part of our lives. They've always been there for me... the same way one's siblings would. Kuya Taba has always been my favorite. We have a lot of memories together... 10 years worth of memories.
When I wake up later and the mornings after that, I know I'm going to be nervous each time. I don't want to wake up to see my Mom crying. I don't want to hear her say it. I don't want to let go if I have to... I've already changed my birthday gameplan. I don't need any wheel, I've decided to spend on my baby brother's vet bills instead... such a small price to pay for my baby brother's new lease in life. All I want for my birthday is for Kuya to be well... Please get well, Kuya...
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