Goodbye, Bernard

It's so easy for us to joke about life and death.

When we finally see someone who has gone AWOL from our lives for some time, we say "O, buhay ka pa pala." with a hint of sarcasm. When things get tough and we feel like enough is enough, it's so easy to say, "Hay nako, patayin n'yo na lang ako!" in resignation.

Some months ago, when I ask my co-worker Bernard how he was, we would normally tell me, "Eto, buhay pa." And for Bernard, that is not a joke.

For the past year, Bernard battled with cancer and won... Or so we thought. Yesterday morning, Al Bernard Barrozo passed away. For some reason, I felt cheated.

Bernard is, well, was popular in the office. He's a tall, loud man with lots of friends. He's friendly and very easy to talk to. Everyone was so shocked when we first learned he had cancer. Everything happened so fast... from some mouth sores, they started announcing that he needs blood donors. I never really knew what his condition was but they said it's a rare form of blood cancer. He grew thin and weak. We thought that was it.

After a few months, he came back to work. He was also back to being his funny self with a smile for everyone he meets. I was proud of him. As much as he was thankful that he's still alive, he lived his life with hopes of having a future. He wanted to do well to get promoted, even wanted to get married and start a family. I liked that. I thought that was very brave of him.

Some time in June, he started losing his voice and always had tonsilitis. He also told me about swollen lymph nodes and a biopsy. I knew that wasn't good, but as always, I was hopeful. Until one day, my partner and I just noticed that he hasn't been around and that he's on LOA again. Yesterday morning, it happened.

In the next few days, his VB family will be visiting him. No, not in a hospital just like before, but in a place where we'll see him for the last time and say our goodbyes.

I'm glad to have known him. I'm honored to have learned something from him about life and death. Yes, life is precious and it can go by so fast. But death, no matter how close you come to it, should not kill you and your future until it actually does. Live, dream, love and hope. It ain't over until it's really over.

Goodbye, Bernard. Your VB family will never forget you.