Damn-sel in Deep-stress

I've always described myself as a person with an extreme personality. As long as you're sincere with me -- though not necessarily nice -- I'd also be nice to you. I might even be your best friend. But regardless if you're being all nice and sweet to me, but really it's all a put on and you're nothing but a certified plastic -- forget it -- I swear, you wouldn't like the side of me that you'll see.

But now, I feel that I'm in a major crossroad. I feel happy and unhappy at the same time; both content and ungrateful about my life.

It all started with my job. I describe it as "a shift in priorities." I felt that I was already in a dead-end job. There's nowhere else for me to go. I've tried the other departments and I'm most happy where I'm at; yet I don't have plans of going any further up the organizational ladder. Salary-wise, it pays the rent. But trust me, it's not anywhere competitive. The people are the best colleagues you can find and they're the only thing that I miss. But the job itself has gone boring and I hate everything about the schedule -- it's shifting, I may not be available during weekends and holidays, etc. After over three years, all these drove me to burnt-outville, so I finally decided to leave.

Right before I left, I found a couple of jobs, which I thought were a dream come true. But I guess both weren't really for me. The first one wouldn't have fitted my employment schedule and the other one kinda screwed me up. So now, I'm officially a bum. I've long wanted to experience this employment freedom -- but it's weird how awful it feels when you have it. I guess it doesn't fly when you're independent and you have bills to pay and you've somehow gotten used to a certain kind of lifestyle.

After three years of living a fairy-tale life with my own princess charming, we're now pondering upon the possibility of leaving our own castle and going back to my parents' abode. The stress being brought forth by this matter is quite unbelievable. Weighing the pros and cons alone can be very confusing, let alone having to come up with one final decision.

What to do, what to do... I'm all tired and confused and stressed and scared and unhappy. Yet at the same time, I feel blessed and happy and thankful that I at least have my wonderful, wonderful wife to share all these stress and confusion with. I feel lucky that we don't argue about it and look at it as a task we have to accomplish together as a team. I am grateful that I have a supportive wife who believes in me and has faith in what I can do, lifting me up in spite of out common dilemma. I just love her.

But at the end of the day, I still feel stuck... because the truth is, I am. I am stuck with this decision we have to make... the responsibilities that will never ever go away.

What to do, what to do... Someone please help us...