Thinking

I'm back in my house and still alone. My wife is in Laguna for a swimming thing with her family. I just got back from my parents' house, where I'm supposed to stay until tomorrow afternoon but my wife wasn't able to return the gazillion VCDs we rented at Video City and the penalty would've cost me a new VCD if I wait til I get home tomorrow.

Well, it's almost 2AM so that makes it Sunday already. Whatever... I got everything screwed up as usual... with the time, I mean.

Now, I have a question... how driven are you? Sometimes, I find myself dreaming a lot... dreaming of really big stuff... but then again, it kinda takes me forever to actually get off my ass to actually get anything done. I guess I'm just a professional dreamer... 'cause that's all I'm good at.

A friend once told me that there was this seminar of some sort that she went to about procrastination. The speaker said that a lot of people procrastinate to avoid failure and to have an excuse in case of a failure. This is apparently most true for those who tend to be perfectionists, or simply finds it difficult to accept failure.

I guess it's very true for me. I mean, why set yourself up for disappointment?! Maybe that's the reason why I never got around to start a story... because i'm afraid not to finish it. Or why I never really tried going to school for an MA... because I'm afraid to fail. Oh well... I'm so pathetic.

Someday, I hope to gain more confidence... Someday, I wish to be a dreamer and a doer as well... Someday...