Eventually

Eventually, I'll be ok. The voices will stop, the nausea will subside, and I will be sane again.
Until then, I'll be walking around like a hormonal zombie with the weirdest of mood swings. This too will pass, and I'll be ok again... Eventually.
Go ahead, say it over and over like a mantra. Go ahead and pehaps, you'd eventually convince yourself.

Nobody Cares What I Think

I would’ve bitched my ass off in this blog and no one would’ve noticed.  I would’ve threatened to commit a criminal act and no one would’ve cared.  No one can be bothered by my shit.

I can’t stand this.  Everything is white noise.  I just stopped caring.

It’s always show time for me.  The curtains never fall; I never get to take a bow.  Crap.

Of all the people I know who claims they are happy, I wonder how many of them is actually telling the truth.  Some people have a lot of things going for them and yet they can never be satisfied.  Then there are those people who would give their all for any semblance of happiness but all they get is shit.  And let us not forget people like me – the uncertain, the blind, those who couldn’t care less. 

I want to disappear.  I used to think I was happy.  Well, I was, until I saw the truth.  It’s the truth I couldn’t bear.  As much as I couldn’t stand it, I’m not ready to let go of the lies.  The signs have always been there; I just ignored them all.  I tried to cope.  I even developed an understanding for people’s addiction.  I have my own.  I changed.  Shit, I was such a fucking sell out.  I’m turning into them.  Disgusting.

I’m just grateful that I have someone – my own personal shrink.  I just wish she can also give me drugs.  Hahaha.  A virtual laugh – even that was fake.  How frustrating.

This is all too weird for me.  I sincerely thought I have found a sense of stability.  Turns out, I don’t know myself too well.  What a surprise.  I mean, does anybody?  Well, people tend to assume they do… assume or pretend, I’m not sure.  Either way, they would eventually sabotage themselves.  Classic.  Not only am I a sell out, I’m become stereotypical.

In the meantime, just smile.  It apparently helps stop the gag reflex.

Millie and Jel's Relationship: Explained

My wife and I laughed to death while reading this. It was like reading about our life! I bet our friends will agree once they read this... =)
_____________________________

Your compatibility

The following personality types have been compared:

Groundbreaking Thinker: extroverted, theoretical, logical, spontaneous, rational, innovative, intellectual, open, independent, curious, enterprising, analytical, clever, enthusiastic, venturesome, inventive, energetic, sociable, optimistic, non-conformist, creative, freedom-loving, charming, able to get enthusiastic, self-confident, communicative, capricious, inconsistent, outgoing

Independent Thinker: introverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, independent, intellectual, self-confident, analytical, structured, dogged, witty, resolute, self-critical, visionary, inventive, independent, unsociable, reserved, nonconformist, quiet, visionary, honest, demanding, hardworking

Compatibility analysis

You have two type preferences in common, which still guarantees a good deal of similarity in many ways (and therefore a comfortable relationship). On the other hand, you have to handle more or less serious conflicts which usually arise from your differences on the other two preferences. Try to balance the joys and frustrations of your partnership and bear in mind that learning from each other is more helpful than fighting each other!

Your different social needs may create some frustrations in your relationship. While the introverted partner is content to maintain a small group of close friends and likes to spend a lot of time on his own, often lost in his thoughts, the extroverted partner desperately hungers for contact, social interaction and being engaged in a variety of activities. The extroverted may feel frustrated by his partner‘s need to retreat from everyone - even from the one he loves. The introverted, in return, may be overwhelmed by his partner‘s quick and sometimes impatient way of communication. So you both tend to end up in a cat-and-mouse game: the extroverted chasing the introverted, constantly asking questions like „how do you feel?“, „a penny for your thoughts!“ or „do you still love me?“ ... Try to respect these differences rather than to fight them and learn to appreciate your partner‘s special strenghts as a potential completion of yours.

The sharing of the second preference - „intuition“ - guarantees a very special intellectual connection between the two of you. You are both driven by a unique perspective and a vision of how the world could be. Hours will pass unnoticed, while you plunge into deep discussions about your ideas, theories, possibilities, the meaning of life, and a thousand other things - these are usually your best times together. You love and admire each other‘s creativity and ingenuity and never fail to inspire each other. Since neither of you pays close attention to routine or mundane details, practical matters such as paying bills, maintaining the home or taking the car to the long-overdue inspection may often be neglected - but who cares! You are perfectly happy together in your world full of stimulating and challenging debates and fantasies and don‘t give a damn about everyday bits and pieces.

As you share the third type preference - „thinking“ - you both favor decisions that are made in a logical and objective way. Neither of you is easily offended, so you may speak your minds honestly and can usually receive constructive criticism in the spirit in which it is intended. No need to „walk on eggs“ to avoid hurting each others‘ feelings! On the contrary, both of you enjoy good-natured teasing and neither of you takes it personally, you even like the sometimes competitive aspect of your relationship. If necessary, both of you are able to make tough decisions, and unless you are very stressed, you both tend to remain calm, unemotional and objective even during heated and stimulated discussions - a great base for a respectful and enduring relationship as conflicts can be solved in a very solution oriented way.

The difference between you regarding the fourth type preference is the source of probably most of your day-to-day conflicts. While the „judging“ one has a strong need for order, in-time management of things and accountability, the „perceiving“ one doesn‘t give a damn about clutter on the kitchen counter, overdue bills or the piles of cloth in the bedroom. This can cause constant frustration on both sides: the judging one feels irritated by the way the perceiving one makes promises he can‘t keep, leaves projects half-finished and constantly messes up rooms and plans. In return, the perceiving one often feels critized and nagged about details he sees as irrelevant or silly and sometimes resists plans and organization simply to fight the idea of being stuck in a cage. Try to find a compromise to reduce the annoying little fights and debates resulting from this difference: meet halfway between the spontaneous chaos of the perceiving and the strict order of the judging one and keep in mind that none of you wants to offend the other deliberately by his behaviour.

Now This Is A Very Precise (and rather creepy) Description of Millie's Personality

Independent Thinker (IT)

(Just visiting? Take the free personality test and determine your iPersonic type!)

Independent Thinkers are analytical and witty persons. They are normally self-confident and do not let themselves get worked up by conflicts and criticism. They are very much aware of their own strengths and have no doubts about their abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are their world. They are eager for knowledge and always endeavour to expand and perfect their knowledge in any area which is interesting for them. Abstract thinking comes naturally to them; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type.

Independent Thinkers are specialists in their area. The development of their ideas and visions is important to them; they love being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because they often find it a strain having to make their complex trains of thought understandable to other people. Independent Thinkers cannot stand routine. Once they consider an idea to be good it is difficult to make them give it up; they pursue the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.

Independent Thinkers are not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about their emotional life is also not one of their strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to them; they are happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share their intellectual world. They find it difficult to establish new ties. In love, they need a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that their partner is not important to them. Independent Thinkers often make a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: they can hardly bear it if people close to them should reject them. They prefer a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares their interests and with whom they can realise their visions.

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, independent, intellectual, self-confident, analytical, structured, dogged, witty, resolute, self-critical, visionary, inventive, independent, unsociable, reserved, nonconformist, quiet, visionary, honest, demanding, hardworking

These subjects could interest you

art, jazz, classical music, science fiction, computer, drawing/painting, spiritual matters, meditation, handicraft, writing, strategic games, politics

Now This Is A Very Precise (and rather creepy) Description of Millie's Personality

Independent Thinker (IT)

(Just visiting? Take the free personality test and determine your iPersonic type!)

Independent Thinkers are analytical and witty persons. They are normally self-confident and do not let themselves get worked up by conflicts and criticism. They are very much aware of their own strengths and have no doubts about their abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. Independent Thinkers are excellent strategists; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are their world. They are eager for knowledge and always endeavour to expand and perfect their knowledge in any area which is interesting for them. Abstract thinking comes naturally to them; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type.

Independent Thinkers are specialists in their area. The development of their ideas and visions is important to them; they love being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because they often find it a strain having to make their complex trains of thought understandable to other people. Independent Thinkers cannot stand routine. Once they consider an idea to be good it is difficult to make them give it up; they pursue the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.

Independent Thinkers are not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about their emotional life is also not one of their strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to them; they are happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share their intellectual world. They find it difficult to establish new ties. In love, they need a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that their partner is not important to them. Independent Thinkers often make a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: they can hardly bear it if people close to them should reject them. They prefer a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares their interests and with whom they can realise their visions.

Adjectives which describe your type

introverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, independent, intellectual, self-confident, analytical, structured, dogged, witty, resolute, self-critical, visionary, inventive, independent, unsociable, reserved, nonconformist, quiet, visionary, honest, demanding, hardworking

These subjects could interest you

art, jazz, classical music, science fiction, computer, drawing/painting, spiritual matters, meditation, handicraft, writing, strategic games, politics

A Very Precise (and rather creepy) Description of My Personality

Groundbreaking Thinker (GT)

(Just visiting? Take the free personality test and determine your iPersonic type!)

Groundbreaking Thinkers are charming, enthusiastic persons. They really bubble over with energy and like to take centre stage. They love variety both professionally and privately. Groundbreaking Thinkers tackle changes consistently with their optimism and firm belief in their own abilities; they are always on the look-out for improvement possibilities. Their excellent communication skills are of great advantage to them here. They approach the world with curiosity and openness and master new situations with a great deal of talent for improvising and with resourcefulness. Their spare time is taken up with a large number of hobbies; most Groundbreaking Thinkers like to travel in order to gather as many different impressions as possible. This personality type is unbeatable at discovering new possibilities.

In their work, Groundbreaking Thinkers highly rate challenges and diversified tasks. They cannot stand routine and too detailed work. They love to astound others with bold ideas for an original, new project and then leave it up to the others to implement them. Hierarchies, rules and regulations arouse their opposition and they love outsmarting the system. It is vital to them that they enjoy their work; if this is the case, they quickly become pure workaholics. Their creativity best takes effect when they work independently; but they are very good at motivating others and infecting them with their optimistic nature. Conceptual or advisory activities appeal especially to Groundbreaking Thinkers. It can happen that some people feel somewhat duped by their flexible, spontaneous nature.

Their sociability and enterprise ensure that Groundbreaking Thinkers always have a large circle of friends and acquaintances in which activity plays an important role. As they are mostly in a good mood, they are popular and very welcome guests. Grumbling and peevishness are unknown to them. However, they do tend to be a little erratic and unstable when it comes to obligations and this makes them appear to be unreliable to some. Groundbreaking Thinkers are very critical and demanding when it comes to picking a partner because they look for the ideal relationship and have a very concrete picture of this ideal relationship. Mutual aims in life are very important to them. They do not like compromising and would rather remain alone. For the partner, it is often a challenge to have a long-term relationship with a Groundbreaking Thinker. Groundbreaking Thinkers need a lot of space and diversity or otherwise they become bored and feel cramped. Types who are rather more traditionalistic often have problems with the willingness of Groundbreaking Thinkers to take risks and their often crazy, spontaneous actions. However, if one can summon up sufficient flexibility and tolerance for them, one will never be bored in their presence and will always have a loyal and faithful partner.

What to do, what to do...

It's a weird feeling I'm having right now. How do I reconcile these identities?

Who I am
Who I want to be
Who I need to be

This is fucking crazy! Shit... I need an ice cold bottle of beer...