Confessions of a Packrat

The hardest thing for someone like me to do is to organize her stuff. The reason being is that organizing one's stuff entails having to let go of some items in the end. Being a packrat, I collect practically everything -- as if I have a collection of collections. Name it, I probably have it somewhere. I have a collection of POG caps, cat stuff, sea shells, books, magazines, comic books, Pocahontas items, pencils, perfume bottles, stamps, coins, bottles of wine, beer and other kinds of spirits, newspaper articles, gift wrappers, stickers, stationeries, notes from friends, old clothes, old gadgets, and so on and so forth. If you read this list back, you might find that a lot of them are totally useless.

I know I have to change. My dad and most especially my wife have been telling me about this over and over again. They tell me that at the rate that I'm going, I would have to get a bigger house each time since I only fill whatever new space I seem to acquire.

Cluttered... my house has been cluttered for most part of my life, regardless of where my house is. I've had three houses and quite frankly, nothing seems to have changed with my ways, but I want to. I know it's affecting other aspects of my life. I can't even buy new stuff anymore because there's seriously no more room in the house! The one reason that I keep on giving (as an excuse) when someone asks me to let go of some of my things is that 'they have sentimental value.' One good example is that I still have my best friend, Gem's old padlock from her locker when we were in college, which reminds me of all the fun times we had in the locker room.

Nonetheless, everything has its intrisic value for what it is. Having said that, I think it has just become an excuse for me to justify why a keep on hanging on to all my things.

I do want to grow and change and be free. Before, it was funny to talk about, but the more I look at myself and all the stuff I've had forever, it does make me feel kind of sad.

I hope someone out there can help me. More than organizing my stuff, I'm hoping that someone can help me understand why I do what I do... I think I have to organize my life. Please. I sincerely need help.