I am... Abernathy

I think it was 2007 or 2008 when I discovered the Tarantino film, "Death Proof." It's the second movie in the Grindhouse movies, the first one of which is "Planet Terror." I was drawn to "Death Proof." How can I not be??? Rosario Dawson and Tracie Thoms are there. We became oh-so fascinated with them after the movie, "Rent." Anyway, Rosario Dawson's character is named, Abernathy. Nice name, I reckon. Unique, kinda fancy, sorta funny to say... Abernathy.

Since then, I practically named everything Abernathy -- my phone, my external drive, my SD cards. Lately, I've been able to resurrect as a Rusher... a fanatic of the RX morning show, The Morning Rush with Chico and Delamar. You see, I've been a Rusher since I was in high school. I remember how I would stay up late until TMR starts so I can call for Good Morning, Manila and greet my Dad and Mom and my feline siblings. My codename then was Catwoman. Unfortunately, work got in the way. So with the busy, alway-changing schedule, I haven't been able to listen to TMR for the past several years. Now, I'm even joining the Top Ten! Funny funny segment The Top Ten is... As cheesy as it may sound, they truly helped me get through the most difficult times, especially last week when my Dad has the Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (which reminds me, I haven't done my entry about that yet). Those were precious mornings... I was laughing as if everything was ok. :)

Anyway, I had an interesting day today. They had a bit of confusion about my gender, especially since my entries would have "my gf this... my gf that..." Plus, I didn't know that Abernathy is also a guy's name! So tonight, my wife and I decided to do a bit of research about Abernathy and so far, I found that it's a place in Texas, and that it's more of a surname rather than a first name. Here are some other stuff that I found:

From Baby Name Guesser

Based on popular usage, it is 1.099 times more common for Abernathy to be a girl's name.

The popularity of Abernathy is: 4.195
(where 0 = extremely rare, 6 = super popular)

From Kabalarians (where it IS under boy names)

The name of Abernathy creates a quiet, systematic, and technical nature and a clever, inventive mind, attentive to detail.

You are attracted to working outdoors in nature, where you would experience the peace and serenity you so much desire.

You would find electricity, electronics, and similar technical fields of interest, as well as computer, mathematical, and scientific studies.

You are inclined to be quiet, reserved, patient, and conservative, preferring to test and prove everything to your own satisfaction before committing yourself.

You like to finish what you start without interruptions, and also to have everything in its place and properly organized.

Although the name Abernathy creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it limits your versatility and scope, tuning you to technical details.

This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs, bronchial area, and elimination system.

Q

All the cabs have come and gone,
Both old and brand new
The line has gotten long, then short, until there's none
Here I still stand
People passing me by
While this poetry, in my phone,
I write

Numbers I Like

I suck at Math... Seriously. Which, by the way, is weird seeing that my Mom and Dad are pretty good at it. Oh well, I guess dominant and dominant sometimes result to recessive. Or this is where nature versus nurture comes in. Unfortunately, my Math skills weren't nurtured. Nonetheless, there are some "numbers" that I like... numbers that make my life a lot more fun and maybe even complete. LOL

24/7 - Especially if used to described food places and delivery services
6-pack - Whether it's beer or chocolates, I LOVE IT!
93.1 - As in RX 93.1... Because I'm addicted to Chico and Delle's The Morning Rush, especially The Top Ten. Certified Rusher forever!
24 - Of course, it's miLLie&jeL's special number. Yihiiiiiiii!!!
1 - Because I'm the only one. I am my parent's only daughter and I am Millie's one and only baby.... Aaaaawwwww!
24 ulit - Because it's the channel where AXN is on... at least on my cable company
37 - Star World din syempre! LOL
100% - Because this is what I am and what I give 100% of the time... 100% real, 100% effort, 100% love, 100% bitchiness... yun na!
160 - The number of gigabytes my Maxtor external drive has
13 - 'Cause that's my birth date!!!
7 - My baby's birth date! That's the day in May when the love of my life was born... Aaaaaaawwww... Sweet kunyari! LOL
6hrs - Daily sleeping requirement
Speaking of sleeping... eto na, nagyayaya na si misis... matulog! LOL

Thank You

Almost two weeks ago, my Papu had a stroke. In retrospect, it felt weird, almost surreal. I find it strange how one day, everything is so normal, so ordinary, then you wake up another day and boom! Things are not the way they were.

I keep on repeating it to myself... what happened to my Dad. I guess I'm still trying to make sense of it... Two weeks ago, the left parietal/occipital part of my father's brain hemorrhaged and swelled. He could've been paralyzed, he could've been dead -- but he isn't. He's still here... moving around the house as if nothing happened. He lost part of his memory, but it's getting better now. His right extremities are now a bit uncoordinated and slow, but even that is getting better. Most importantly, he's here. He's here.

It was strange, when the doctor was explaining what happened to him, she touched my arm and told me twice or thrice that this is serious, like I didn't know how serious it was -- as if she's waiting for me to break down and cry. True enough, a lot of people thought that I was a mess at the time, that I'd be crying my heart out, knowing how such a Daddy's Girl I am. However, neither one happened and for two reasons. First, I didn't have time to break down and cry. All I did was take care of everything, as if I didn't have a choice but do it. Second, I didn't feel that it's a bad day. I mean, it was, but I knew in my heart that in the end, it's going to be ok.

It's crazy how, amidst a family emergency, a scene from Grey's Anatomy came into my mind. It was when Cristina followed George outside the hospital after his father died. Cristina told him, "There's a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad died when I was nine. George, I'm really sorry you had to join the club." In the middle of all the chaos and the bad news, I have decided, "This is not the day that I'll be joining the club." And throughout that time when my Dad was in the hospital, even up until now, this "decision" has strangely given me a lot of strength. Just thinking about it me gives me hope, that things are just going to get better and better. True enough, they did. Everyday.

Having said that, I am very, very, very thankful. As I've said previously, I know it's probably selfish of me to want my Papu back -- all of him. I won't lie, it's hard to watch your father not know when he was born or where he lives or ask you the same thing over and over, but seriously, I can't complain. I still have my Dad. A lot of people would've given anything to have that. I'm also thankful to know that as much as my immediate family is very small, I have a bigger family out there -- a network of friends who supports and cares for our family, who visited, who prayed or just checked on us. I'm thankful for my life partner, Millie, who stood by me while I try my best to hold things together and for being my strength and my place of refuge when I'm just tired and all I want to do is hide from the rest of the world.

It's been unbelievably crazy the past couple of weeks. This has probably been the most difficult time for our family, but here we all are... surviving, taking each day slowly but surely, re-learning together. I'm especially glad that we are happy, resilient people who can laugh things off when my Dad is getting confused and doesn't know his right from his left hand. The last thing that I want to happen is for my Dad to feel frustrated or to wallow in self-pity. I'm glad that my Dad is one hell of a survivor... he has always been.

I love you, Papu. Thanks for being my Dad.

Hospital Thoughts

This posting is way overdue. On my 2nd day in the ICU waiting area, I got really bored and decided to jot down my thoughts and then some.

• All you need is half an hour or so in the ICU waiting area and you'd know pretty much everyone's medical history, family tree, and if you're lucky, even family disputes.
• The hospital is a neat freak's nightmare. Imagine this: My Dad, who just had a hypertensive bleed on the left parietal/occipital part of his brain, can barely remember his DOB, address and contact numbers, requested for a toothbrush AND mouthwash.
• Update on the above: As soon as my Dad was transferred to a regular room, he asked the nurses if he can have a couple of services done -- as in, manicure and pedicure services. LOL
• A neat freak in a hospital eventually becomes desperate and learns to use the common toilet -- as long as she's armed with alcohol, soft tissue, wet tissue, and the bitchiness to tell the information staff that someone threw up in their ground floor toilet, while the 2nd floor toilet has plumbing issues.
• If your father who's in the construction business suffers from a stroke affecting his memory, you, who's only work experience is in the BPO field can amazingly learn construction in several days.
• Filipinos do not need shrinks because we're very resilient people. I have to admit, the emotional support I got from the other families in the ICU waiting area helped me get through those three extremely long days. My heart goes out to the Palomares, Layos and Senio families.

Confessions of Daddy's Little Girl

To say I want my whole Dad back is selfish because at least I still have him. Nonetheless, I can't help but want my whole dad back... I miss my Papu..

Confessions of a Packrat

The hardest thing for someone like me to do is to organize her stuff. The reason being is that organizing one's stuff entails having to let go of some items in the end. Being a packrat, I collect practically everything -- as if I have a collection of collections. Name it, I probably have it somewhere. I have a collection of POG caps, cat stuff, sea shells, books, magazines, comic books, Pocahontas items, pencils, perfume bottles, stamps, coins, bottles of wine, beer and other kinds of spirits, newspaper articles, gift wrappers, stickers, stationeries, notes from friends, old clothes, old gadgets, and so on and so forth. If you read this list back, you might find that a lot of them are totally useless.

I know I have to change. My dad and most especially my wife have been telling me about this over and over again. They tell me that at the rate that I'm going, I would have to get a bigger house each time since I only fill whatever new space I seem to acquire.

Cluttered... my house has been cluttered for most part of my life, regardless of where my house is. I've had three houses and quite frankly, nothing seems to have changed with my ways, but I want to. I know it's affecting other aspects of my life. I can't even buy new stuff anymore because there's seriously no more room in the house! The one reason that I keep on giving (as an excuse) when someone asks me to let go of some of my things is that 'they have sentimental value.' One good example is that I still have my best friend, Gem's old padlock from her locker when we were in college, which reminds me of all the fun times we had in the locker room.

Nonetheless, everything has its intrisic value for what it is. Having said that, I think it has just become an excuse for me to justify why a keep on hanging on to all my things.

I do want to grow and change and be free. Before, it was funny to talk about, but the more I look at myself and all the stuff I've had forever, it does make me feel kind of sad.

I hope someone out there can help me. More than organizing my stuff, I'm hoping that someone can help me understand why I do what I do... I think I have to organize my life. Please. I sincerely need help.