Confessions of Daddy's Little Girl

To say I want my whole Dad back is selfish because at least I still have him. Nonetheless, I can't help but want my whole dad back... I miss my Papu..

Confessions of a Packrat

The hardest thing for someone like me to do is to organize her stuff. The reason being is that organizing one's stuff entails having to let go of some items in the end. Being a packrat, I collect practically everything -- as if I have a collection of collections. Name it, I probably have it somewhere. I have a collection of POG caps, cat stuff, sea shells, books, magazines, comic books, Pocahontas items, pencils, perfume bottles, stamps, coins, bottles of wine, beer and other kinds of spirits, newspaper articles, gift wrappers, stickers, stationeries, notes from friends, old clothes, old gadgets, and so on and so forth. If you read this list back, you might find that a lot of them are totally useless.

I know I have to change. My dad and most especially my wife have been telling me about this over and over again. They tell me that at the rate that I'm going, I would have to get a bigger house each time since I only fill whatever new space I seem to acquire.

Cluttered... my house has been cluttered for most part of my life, regardless of where my house is. I've had three houses and quite frankly, nothing seems to have changed with my ways, but I want to. I know it's affecting other aspects of my life. I can't even buy new stuff anymore because there's seriously no more room in the house! The one reason that I keep on giving (as an excuse) when someone asks me to let go of some of my things is that 'they have sentimental value.' One good example is that I still have my best friend, Gem's old padlock from her locker when we were in college, which reminds me of all the fun times we had in the locker room.

Nonetheless, everything has its intrisic value for what it is. Having said that, I think it has just become an excuse for me to justify why a keep on hanging on to all my things.

I do want to grow and change and be free. Before, it was funny to talk about, but the more I look at myself and all the stuff I've had forever, it does make me feel kind of sad.

I hope someone out there can help me. More than organizing my stuff, I'm hoping that someone can help me understand why I do what I do... I think I have to organize my life. Please. I sincerely need help.

Jelaine's Christmas Eve Adventure

December 24 -- anniversary ko. Eight years na kami ng mahal kong jowawis na si Millie. Hassle lang at sa sobrang magkabaligtaran ang schedule namin, gumising ako paguwi niya ng alas dos ng madaling araw para "mag-celebrate." Translation, nanuod kami ng paborito naming Jeopardy at natulog ulit ako.

Pagpasok sa opisina ng alas siete, pumped na pumped akong magtrabaho. At the same time, gusto ko na agad umuwi. Holiday mode na kasi ang lahat ng tao. Kahit antok na antok na ako, pinilit kong tapusin lahat ng trabaho for the week. Minsan lang naman mag-4-day holiday. At dahil tsinismisan pa ang ako ng friend kong si W tungkol sa kanyang masalimuot na lovelife, past 7pm na ako nakaalis ng opisina. At dahil sira ang ulo ko, I decided on the last minute na gusto ko palang maghanda ng dessert at i-oven instead na i-grill ang salmon na katerno ng couscous. So dumaan pa ako ng supermarket. Kahit medyo maraming tao, sandali lang ako doon at nakaalis agad. Naloka lang ako dahil ang haba ng pila sa taxi. I figured, 'Adventure 'to... Bus na lang ulit.'

I've never taken the bus that late. Hindi ko alam kung standing room na ba o kung ma-trapik, lalo na ngayong bisperas. Keblar. I need to go home now. Swerte naman, may upuan sa unahan. Weird lang dahil talagang deadma sa akin ang konduktor. 'Ayos 'to. Ma-try ngang mag-123.' Bumaba na't lahat ang mamang katabi ko, deadma pa rin sa akin ang konduktor. 'Aba, mukhang makakalusot a.' Kahit halos wala nang sasakyan sa daan, syempre, hindi kasali duon ang EDSA. At dahil wala akong suot na contact lens, nagmistulang Christmas lights ang mga tail lights ng mga nakapilang sasakyan sa na nagsisiksikan sa EDSA, nag-uunahang makauwi para sa Noche Buena. Maya-maya, sumakay ang isang babae. Malapit na akong bumaba. Hmmm... deadma rin s'ya. Ayaw pang magbayad. By this time, medyo nagui-guilty na ako. 'Ano ba 'yan, Php11 na nga lang, mag-123 pa ba?' Pagdating ng Shangri-la, kinalabit ng babaeng ang konduktor pagbalik n'ya sa harap. 'Hmph! Sige na nga, magbabayad na ako.' Mantakin no 'yun, malapit na akong bumaba, makonsensya pa ako?! Naisip ko, ipa-laminate ko kaya ang lekat na tiket ng bus? Tanda na hindi nga 'ata talaga ako pwedeng maging hustler. Oh well, I'll try again next time. Ma-try lang kahit minsan. Hehehe!

Pagbaba ng Megamall, sarado na. Hindi na nagpapalusot palabas sa kabilang side. actually, 7pm pa sila sarado. So umikot pa ang beauty ko hanggang makarating sa terminal ng shuttle. Pagdating ko doon, wala na halos mga sasakyan. Walang shuttle, pero maraming pila. Uh-oh. 'May babalik pa kaya???' Panic mode on. 'Magluluto pa ako!!!' I'm stuck. Nowhere to go. Naghihingalo pa ang baterya ng cell phone. Syempre, para mas maganda daw ang effect, umaambon! Hassle. Nag-text ako sa asawa ko para magreklamo, sa nanay ko para magbilin at sa tatay ko para sana sunduin ako. Nilibang ko na lang ang sarili sa kakabilang ng kung ilang oras na lang ako meron para mag-set ang gelatin at sa pagpaplano ng kung ano'ng uunahing gain paguwi ko. Pagkaraan ng ilang balik ng mga shuttles, nakasakay na rin ako sa wakas.

Tuloy pa rin ako pagtetext sa van. Feeling executive chef akong nagbibilin sa nanay ko ng mga pwede na n'yang gawin habang wala pa ako. Sinagot ko ang tawag ng erpats ko at parang teenager na nag-report kung nasaan na ako. Sabay balita rin sa asawa ko ng mga kakatwang pangyayari ng gabi para naman matawa sa halip na ma-bad trip. Muntik pang madisgrasya ang lekat na shuttle -- twice. Ci-nut ng sira ulong taxi, at siningitan ng suicidal na nakamotor. Sabay tingin ko naman sa bintana sa kaliwa to find a car... and it's bumper several meters away. 'Ayos... Merry Christmas sa inyo.'

Makaraan ng prosisyon (meaning, traffic) sa may Sta. Lucia at isang sakay ng tricycle, nakauwi rin ako sa wakas. Hapit sa luto ang beauty ko! Fortunately, things ended well at successful naman ang aming hamak na Christmas dinner.

Sulit naman ang adventure. Naisip ko, baka naging boring pa ang pasko ko kung hindi dahil doon... kaya check na rin! :)

I will never cram for Christmas dinner ever again

This year, I wanted to try something new. Steamed/buttered (haven't decided yet) veggies with portobello mushrooms and salmon over couscous (left). Thing is, I've never tried cooking couscous before! I've been planning to do a dry run prior to Christmas dinner but I always have something to go to or something to do that I just realized yesterday that I only have a couple of days to decide if I'm really going to do it or change the entire menu. You see, if there's only four of you, preparing a big, fancy Xmas feast isn't really necessary. All you really need is a starter, a really 'different' and filling entrée, a good bottle of wine and you can even do without dessert! Trust me, it'll only frustrate you if you cook more than that for four people. A lot of it will be left uneaten, only to be placed in microwaveable containers or kept in saran wraps for tomorrow's lunch. Yes, there was a bit of bitterness there.

For the past holidays (i.e. Xmas, New year, birthdays), we have been eating steak as per my wife and mom's request. This year, fish trumps beef. Yes, I made the decision to have salmon this year. I know, I know, there's nothing really 'wow' about salmon, we even eat salmon for Sunday lunch... but hey, I'm tired of scrubbing the stove-top grill after dinner! I'm thinking, we'd have less dishwashing time if we have fish instead. Hehehe! After all, it's our anniversary, if you know what I mean. *Wink*

Three or four years ago, my wife and I ended up doing kitchen duty pretty much the whole day. We had pumpkin soup, my famous jumping mushrooms and probably pasta, I'm not sure. It was a nightmare! Pretty much everything needed a lot of prep time and actual cooking time. To make things worse, my parents came over at least an hour earlier than our agreed time. Then of course, there's the dishwashing problem. Ugh! Worse anniversary ever. Never want that to happen again!

This year, I made another mistake... Well, hopefully it doesn't go all the way until tomorrow evening. I just made a little mistake with the scheduling, you know, with no dry run whatsoever. So today, I had to rush to Rustan's to buy some feta cheese and apparently, they've stopped selling the brand we normally buy. To make things worse, I wasn't sure if the brand I saw was feta. I then had to go to Shopwise. Saw the same brand, did a bit of research (thank god, my GPRS was working!) and confirmed that it IS feta. I also got a kilo of salmon, some veggies (my father's request), portobello mushrooms and, as per my wife's request, good ol' Xmas ham (We can't even remember what we had last year! How pathetic is that???) Oh, and stupid me even had to research on how green onions look like! I swear, I'd shop earlier next year, even do a dry run if I'm trying a new recipe, just to make sure everything goes well.

In fairness, my friend at work said the recipe looks easy enough. Yeah, I agree. I just don't want to serve crap, you know... especially to my family! LOL Wish me luck tomorrow evening! Hopefully, everything goes well. Watch out for pictures! =)

P.S.
As if my day wasn't crazy enough, I'm still thinking of adding a last minute dessert on the menu. Hehehehe! Now seriously, do you think I can pull this dinner off???

My Christmas Literary Wishlist

I went to National Bookstore today to check on a kris-kringle gift for the office and it just hit me... I miss reading Philippine literature! Well, I just realized now that I don't read any other kind of literature except for our very own. I guess, when it comes to literature, I like the local flavor more -- kind of weird because I hate Pinoy movies and TV shows, which is pretty much literature on screen.

Anyway, as in -- the feeling was overwhelming. I was like a kid in a candy store! I can't believe how much I've been missing a lot of Zafra and Remoto's works. I want to buy them all and catch up on my reading, especially with gay lit! LOL I was thrilled because I also saw that they've reprinted Eraserhead's FRUITCAKE! Ugh! Then I saw Ricky Lee's first novel, "Para Kay B." Now at that point, I can no longer help myself... I've already walked walked out of the store but decided to go back and grab a copy! LOL I love that guy! I also have his scriptwriting manual, "Trip to Quiapo."

So here's my Christmas Literary Wishlist, solely based on today's trip to National Bookstore. Hopefully, I can start getting them one by one next year... I think I can do that, as long as I cut down on my coffee and bagel!!! LOL

• Ladlad 1-3 by Danton Remoto (Used to have the first book, but I don't know where it is now. Even called Des in Dubai to ask if she has it! Crazy bitch!)
  
• Gaydar by Danton Remoto
• Fruitcake by The Eraserheads (edited by Jessica Zafra -- it was that time when she was managing them)
  
• Twisted 7 (written as Tw7sted) and 8 (Night of the Living Twisted) by Jessica Zafra
• 500 People You Meet in Hell by Jessica Zafra

I'm in love with a gay guy!

Yeah, I know that title sounded a lot like a tabloid headline. LOL Sorry about that! Can't help it! See that hot guy? That's Brian Kinney from Queer As Folk -- a gay show that ran for five seasons from 2000-2005 -- at least its US version. However, the show was originally from the UK where it ran until 2000. Millie and I have been addicted to QAF and have been doing DVD marathons every chance we get. We're such fag hags!

Brian Kinney was played by Gale Harold, who is now known as Susan Myers' love interest in another hit TV show, Desperate Housewives. Today, I surfed the net for some Brian Kinney stuff and inevitably stumbled upon Gale Harold news. I was so shocked to know that he recently had a motorcycle accident on 14Oct08 for which he was briefly in Intensive Care due to some swelling in the brain and a fractured shoulder. Fortunately, I also found several follow-up news that he's on his way to full recovery. Whew! That'll be a major heartbreak if anything happens to my Brian! I pretty much had a similar experience when I had a crush on reality TV star, Rachel Brown from the second season of Hell's Kitchen. I later on read on the web of her sudden death.

Anyway, I am yet to develop a crush on straight man, Gale Harold. He's really adorable though, stuttering and being lost for words during interviews. I like his outspoken, unapologetic gay persona more. He's so f*cking hot that way. LOL

A surprise for some select people

I sent a surprise to several important people in my life... Considering that no one has tried to contact me yet, I think it's safe to say that no one has seen it yet.

Tick tock, tick tock...

Let's see who'll be the first to crack... And the waiting begins...