Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
– Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Normal. For some people, normal may not be as bad as how my beloved Ellen described it, but who are we kidding? This is pretty much what’s normal for most normal people.
Almost six months ago, I decided that I don’t want to have a normal life anymore – so I resigned from the relatively high-paying job that I had for over three years without any clear plans whatsoever of what’ll I do after. Well actually, I did have a back-up plan then until the people in my supposed “next job” screwed me. From there, I started living a destitute life – nearly neck deep in debt with no disposable income to speak of. In fact, I barely make enough money to cover my regular monthly expenses.
From being a Quality Assurance Analyst, I have become a freelance web content writer. Weird… I’ve always wanted to write for a living. When I was in Customer Service, I said over and over that I’d be the happiest person in the world if I can just be a writer by profession. But now that I am one, I’m having a hard time being happy… I can’t seem to fully enjoy my new-found freedom because of all the other things I lost in the process of being what I’ve always wanted to become. Sometimes, I want to ask myself if I regret ever leaving but I guess my proud self won’t admit it. It’s either she’s so in denial, or my writer self is oh-so trying to state her case, convincing my destitute self that it shouldn’t be about money and that everything will be alright – eventually. With all my “selves” trying to sort out their feelings, rationalizing what’s happening and what will happen next, I am then left with, well, one confused self… Go figure.
Oh well, at the end of the day, I think I’m still more thankful that I have left “the normal life” behind to pursue that one thing I’ve always wanted to become. Had I not taken the risk, to this day, I might still be asking myself “what if?” and “what could’ve been?” At least I know now and wouldn’t have to ask. (Unless I go entirely crazy and start asking myself the “what if?” and that “what could’ve been?” had I not left!) I guess I just have to make the most out of what I have now… Just write whatever I can, do everything I can to better my craft, hope for the best, and create my own version of a normal life – |BadGirl`JeL| style.
And now, inspired by my beloved Ellen’s quote, comes Jelaineism #7:
Reality is leaving that stressful and shitty job you used to have, which provides you the lifestyle you now cannot afford and thus, miss – making you feel all stressed and shitty. Once it sets in, you realize… Reality does bite – hard and in the ass.
– Jelaine Macaraeg
Everytime I see Emirates' TV ad on doing something for the first time, I always wonder afterwards when I'll have that kind of experience again. Fortunately, I did experience something new last weekend – I spent the weekend at Richmonde Hotel for no special reason other than a voucher that has to be used before it expires. What made it special though, is the fact that I shared the experience with the love of my life and two of my bestest friends, Orange and Star. But it got even more exciting when we decided to go bowling – my honey's first ever – and my “sort of” first time in at least two years. It was extra-fantastic when I got a couple of spares and even a strike.
The entire weekend was really special. My wife and I had a little “spa moment” in our hotel room while Orange and Star were sleeping, after which we all had dinner at Italianni’s, where I had my favorites – Fried Calamari and Smoked Salmon Pizza with Dill Cream Sauce. We played Uno (the card game) until 2AM (Orange and Star were so sleepy by that time), then my wife taught me a couple of card games until 4AM. In spite of only having 4 hours of sleep, I was up and ready to invade the breakfast buffet by 8AM and though I didn’t especially enjoyed breakfast (‘cause they didn’t have bacon), I was generally fine. When we checked out at 12NN, I was kind of surprised to find myself having that “vacation feeling,” which I only expected to feel on an out-of-town/out-of-the-country trip. It might have been our new living arrangement that made me feel that I do need a break away from home, not to mention some alone time as a couple. 
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